Cats Soundtrack: Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer

Cats Soundtrack
Miscellaneous
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
SOLO (spoken):
Macavity!

MUNGOJERRIE:
Mungojerrie

RUMPLETEAZER:
And Rumpleteazer

BOTH:
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats

RUMPLETEAZER:
We have an extensive reputation

MUNGOJERRIE:
We make our home in Victoria Grove

BOTH:
That is merely our center of operation
For we are incurably given to rove

RUMPLETEAZER:
We are very well known in Cornwall Gardens

MUNGOJERRIE:
In Launceston Place

RUMPLETEAZER:
And in Kensington Square

BOTH:
We have really a little more reputation
Than a couple of cats can very well bear

RUMPLETEAZER:
If the area window is found ajar

MUNGOJERRIE:
Or the basement looks like a field of war
If a tile or two comes loose on the roof

RUMPLETEAZER:
Which presently fails to be waterproof

BOTH:
If the drawers are pulled out from bedroom chests
And you can't find one of your winter vests

RUMPLETEAZER:
If after supper one of the girls
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls

BOTH:
Then the family will say, "It's that horrible cat!

MUNGOJERRIE:
"It was Mungojerrie

RUMPLETEAZER:
"Or Rumpleteazer!"

BOTH:
And most of the time they leave it at that

BOTH:
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer have a very unusual gift of the gab

MUNGOJERRIE:
We are highly efficient cat burglars as well

RUMPLETEAZER:
And remarkably smart at the smash and grab
We make our home in Victoria Grove

MUNGOJERRIE:
We have no regular occupation

BOTH:
We are plausible fellows who like to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they won't get thinner

MUNGOJERRIE:
On Argentine joint,

RUMPLETEAZER:
Potatoes and greens

BOTH:
Then the cook will appear from behind the scenes

MUNGOJERRIE:
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow

RUMPLETEAZER:
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
For the joint has gone from the oven like that!"

BOTH:
Then the family will say, "It's that horrible cat!

MUNGOJERRIE:
"It was Mungojerrie

RUMPLETEAZER:
"Or Rumpleteazer!"

BOTH:
And most of the time they leave it at that

BOTH:
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer have a wonderful way
Of working together

RUMPLETEAZER:
And some of the time you would say it was luck

MUNGOJERRIE:
And some of the time you would say it was weather

BOTH:
We go through the house like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath

MUNGOJERRIE:
Was it Mungojerrie?

RUMPLETEAZER:
Or Rumpleteazer?

BOTH:
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?

MUNGOJERRIE:
And when you hear a dining room smash

RUMPLETEAZER:
Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash

MUNGOJERRIE:
Or down from the library there comes a loud ping

RUMPLETEAZER:
From a vase that was commonly said to be Ming

BOTH:
Then the family will say: "Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie *AND* Rumpleteazer!"

And there's nothing at all to be done about that!