Georg Kreisler: Dirty Ferdy

Dirty Ferdy was a cowboy most notorious
You could smell him in the distance of a mile
Oh, but look at him tonight, where he looks glorious
Thats because he took a bath and dressed in style
Farmer Joe was getting married tonight, so there was a dance

Dirty Ferdy and his girlfriend dirty Marilyn
Rode a' horses from the stables to the car
Dirty Marilyn was looking very feminine
And was smoking nothing worse than a cigar
Farmer Joe was getting married tonight, so there was a dance

At the Dead-Mans Bar, where the dance was held
The proprietor had put a neon sign that said:
Now, boys, before you go in steppin
Please check your guns and any other shootin weapon
So Ferdy checked his pistol, he was a cavalier
And he knew Marilyn had two more pistols in her brassiere

So now then that was okay
So the band rose to play
A be-bop version of the overture to Gtterdmmerung
And Marilyn took off her mink
And then they all had a drink
And another, to a song by Humperdinck

All the boys and girls were right polite
Farmer Joe, as you know, was getting spliced tonight
The Saxophonist was playing a run
Whereat the highest note turned out a little flat
Wherupon Ferdy, who didnt think that fun
Said to Marilyn: Thats a dirty rat!

But the lights were dim
So cowboy Jim
Thought that Ferdy had directed that remark at him
And as he used to go with Marilyn til Ferdy came along
He felt such criticism morbid, inconsiderate and wrong

He didnt want to fray
Thats not distingue
So he just bit Ferdys nose off, and threw it away
Dirty Ferdy was hit!
Oh! He could spit
For his pistols he had checked and he was lost without it
But all at once he felt much better:
He remembered, Marilyn had two pistols in her sweater!
So with this attitude
He kicked Jims lower latitude

Through that kick cowboy Jim could have flown to the moon
But the room came to an end and stopped his flight
He broke the ribs of several others to be spiteful
To farmer Joe this was all terribly frightful
But his wife said: This wedding is delightful!
Now, lets get Dirty Ferdy, and lets get him tonigh!

Ferdy knew, the time had come to use em
And shouted: Marilyn, hand me those pistols from your bosom!
But Marilyn said: Surprise, surprise!
With my last two bullets I just killed three guys!

And since empty pistols carry no authority
Dirty Ferdy tried at first to run away
But it was him against the terrible majority
And he woke up in the hospital next day
And they gave him a shot of penicillin there
And a pretty nurse

...As has been mentioned, Dirty Ferdy was a cowboy most notorious
You could smell him in the distance of a mile
But it took him just a week and he looked glorious
Cause he took a bath and dressed himself in style
Farmer Joe was getting divorced again, so everyone could dance some more