Richard Thompson: March Of The Cosmetic Surgeons

(Richard Thompson)

Act 1, Scene 2, The Clinic of Dr. Krikstein. On a podium, Center,
MRS. RIPSTOCK-GEDDES is posing as Aphrodite, complete with water jug.
Enter Left DR. KRIKSTEIN, followed by his STUDENTS, marching Indian
File to the rhythm of the music

We nip and tuck, and we nip and tuck
And we nip and tuck, and we nip and tuck
And we nip and tuck all day
We liposuck, and we liposuck
And we liposuck, and we liposuck,
And we liposuck all day

Goddess, you are a goddess,
You are a legend, you are a monument
Goddess, you are a goddess,
You are bewitching, you are embodiment
Gone, tired and worn
See woman new born
See how the knife can free her
Who wouldn't want to be her
See her, see her

Once I was old, ugly I was told
Till that blessed day when I met Dr. Krikstein
Now my thighs are firm and thin,
No rolls beneath my chin
And my nose is an ode composed
By the blade of Dr. Krikstein
Dr. Krikstein

"Oh Doctor, what're you going to do with that?"
"Don't worry, my liebe, thass is just the latest rhinoplastic technology.
Just relax, it might hurt a teeny-weeny bit, uh!"
"Ohhhhhhh, oooooooh, ooooh"

We nip and tuck, and we nip and tuck
And we nip and tuck, and we nip and tuck
And we nip and tuck all day
We liposuck, and we liposuck
And we liposuck, and we liposuck,
And we liposuck all day

We stretch and snip, and we stretch and snip
And we stretch and snip, and we stretch and snip
And we stretch and snip all day
We hack and gouge, and we hack and gouge
And we hack and gouge, and we hack and gouge
And we hack and gouge all day

We nip and tuck, and we nip and tuck
And we nip and tuck, and we nip and tuck
And we nip and tuck all day
We liposuck, and we liposuck
And we liposuck, and we liposuck,
And we liposuck all day