Steve Vai: Little Pieces Of Seaweed

Youre lookin for trouble
Youve come to the right place
Come on baby, smack the smegma
All across the place because...

I took little pieces of seaweed and I caused stretch marks to appear all over your little body. Yes I did. I really did. It was all over your body. Eh, your body looked like a road map, and my best friend got so confused, he thought you were doubting Thomas and put his fingers in your holes that I left there after I beat you up with an axe.

I looked at you and I suppose that youd like to stick a pair of speakers in my throat because you dont like the way I speak. Of course you dont. Why dont you put me in overdrive and well get in treble. Well have triplets together. Well have to talk to the staff about it. Oh, Im so flat; Im so flat; Im so flat; Im so flat.

Ah, youre under arrest. Youre under arrest. Youre under arrest for smiling in Sector V, now; dont step across the line. Take off your clothes. Put your buttocks in your pocket and spread your hands. Now bend over. Now bend over. Bend over, bend over and spread those cheeks. Bend over and spread those cheeks. Bend over and spread those cheeks. Bend over and spread those cheeks. Im going to insert my notes from an isotope that I scored off Einstein while he peeled off his pimples with plutonium. Why cant he perform the way he did earlier? (Well, Ill tell you). Whats wrong with him? Hes lost his style; hes lost his spunk; hes no good; hes funk. He smells like a cowbell. He has the personality of a road accident. He has the IQ of salamander sweat. And he smells like stale cat piss shoved intravenously through the IV of an aging welfare patient. Welfare, all fare, were all fair on this universe, and Ive got a ticket to ride you any time I want because Im abusive. Dont cry at me with your wah-wah pedal. Dont plug in your amplifier and tell me you paid your dues. Dont tell me you went for this guys act and you went for your own fame. Dont tell me that Im to blame.

And I took little pieces of seaweed. I took little pieces of seaweed. I took little pieces of seaweed. I took little, I took little pieces of seaweed. Pieces of seaweed. I took little pieces of seaweed. Pieces of. I took little pieces of seaweed and I caused stretch marks to appear all over your little body. Yes I did. I really did. It was all over your body. Eh, eh, your body looked like a road map, and my best friend got so confused, he thought you were a doubting Thomas and he put his fingers in your holes that I left there after I beat you up with an axe. And he put you in the car, and he drove you down to Sylmar to meet this guy who used to play for the big guy. You know, the big guy. Ill be Frank with ya, ya know. (Snork) But, no. It wasnt good enough for her. She wanted a sensitive guy. So I fuckin tok her out to the beach and I put some sandpaper in the KY Jelly -- because you always hurt the ones you love. (Oh, thats why you beat her up with an axe). I let the pelicans, I let the pelicans, have their way with her. (Im over here, Shorts. Here Shorts...). And I threatened her with a pelican. I threatened her with a pelican. Dont tell me that Im to blame. Ya tell me, tell me, tell me, ya tell me youre so good; you tell me youre so fine; you tell me youre so wonderful; you tell me youre sublime. You tell me youre so good; you tell me youre so fine; you tell me youre so wonderful; you tell me youre sublime, sublime, sublime, sublime, sublime. Eh ha, eh ha, ha, ha, eh, ha ha...

And he judges. He judges. He says whats good and whats right, and whats good and whats right, and whats good and whats right, and whats good as whats right. He says, This product will sell many units in that demographical area. And I took little pieces of seaweed and I caused stretch marks to appear all over your little body. Yes I did; yes I did; yes I did; yes I did....