Asaf Avidan: I Don't Know When, I Don't Know How, I Don't Know Why

I’m going to die, I’m going to die
I don’t know when, I don’t know how, I don’t know why
Now I ain’t going to lie, I ain’t gonna lie
I’m terrified, as any other guy
Oh my, oh my, I love the earth
I love the sea, God, I love the sky
But when I die, don’t you dare cry
No, don’t you dare cry, I’ll tell you why

All of my life I have lived with one rule to help me survive
All of my life I have lived with one rule to help me survive
I will not die
I will not die
while I am still alive

I don’t decide but I will not hide
we all must abide, Yes, we all must abide
I’ll tell you why I don’t take your side
Sides are all narrow, the ocean is wide

I think you need me to sublimate this into
something that you can chew
Anything more like you
normal ain't what I do
I've been too close to the darkness too long to not see the truth

See I've been rejected from normal trajectory
Since I’ve been objected to so many pain
So many pain, so many pain
Only a song can try to explain

But when we go, when we go, when we finally let it all go
But when we go, when we go, when we finally let it all go
You’ll say goodbye, You’ll all say goodbye
I’ll say hello

Hop, and I go and you won’t see more of me
Falling through the floor and the flow’s got hold on me
Flowing in the flow and flow is God in me
Eeny, Miny, Moe, mining more means more of me
Many mining more and I core just more of me
Any miner knows that the call is calling me
Any mining more and there won’t be any me

Stop this, I don’t want this, let me
Disrupt all this self-destructiveness, I
Digress but there’s dire stress in me
If I die graceful then there’s something wrong with me

I congress all myself to myself
And I protest all this slow press, and I shelf
All this nonsense about being ok with this
So chivalrous, I'm not ok with this
I’m gonna cave from this
I ain’t going to stand on my grave
And just reach out my hand to the great abyss
Let me tell you this

I’m still a body, just a body
And I’m just like everybody
I’m a flesh and bone embodied
Sense of self that needs to badly
Recognize itself through oddly
Patterned shapes that go around it
But there is never anybody
It's just me, there is nobody
And I’m blind, but I still find it
All these shapes that help define me
Through the fog, they help Outline me
As I scream with all my finite
Gasps of air into a universe that don't care
It's just echo of my own sowing
And I can’t go or just let go of it

My imminent death is a weight on my chest, yo,
My breath is congesting with all of this self flow
I can’t breathe but I'm still spitting
And I don’t believe but I’m still spitting
And I can’t leave so I’m still spitting
And I can’t breathe but I'm still spitting

I’m going to die, I’m going to die
I don’t know when, I don’t know how, I don’t know why