Ashley MacIsaac: What an Idiot He Is

Well he walks with a swagger and he talks with a sneer
Everything about him tells you don't come near
He doesn't bother looking to the left or to the right
He knows where he's goin' and he keeps it in sight
He can never figure out why he's so uptight
What an idiot he is

He's always gotta make a big impression on you
Gotta show you what he has and tell you what he can do
And all the while he's gonna try to cut you down to size
Try to hide the simple truth with his elaborate lies
One thing he'll never do is look you in the eye
What an idiot he is

He hasn't bothered thinking since he was a kid
He'll tell you he already knew what he had to know by then
Anyone who disagrees with him should be in prison
All he wants is what is his, even if it isn't
You can talk until you're blue but you can never make him listen
What an idiot he is

He thinks his only problem is he ain't got more
Wants to get so rich he can buy the whole damn store
Well I guess he knows the value of a hard earned buck
If you try to bum some money, you'll have no luck
But he'll spend a couple hundred dollars for a decal on his truck
No problem

The only thing he cares about is what it's gonna cost
And the only shame he knows is that the home team lost (you see the game?)
He's got an EZ-Boy recliner and a colour TV
A Colt .45 hidden underneath the seat
He can hardly wait to shoot somebody in the knee
What an idiot he is

He doesn't even know what an idiot he is
He says: "What's an idy idy?" Lord have pity!
His favourite food is Wonderbread and Cheez-Whiz, gimmie!

He's one percent attention and ninety-nine show
He's always got an answer even if he doesn't know
Tell him what it's at, he'll tell you where to go
What an idiot he is.

Well I see him everywhere I go and he gives me a pain
When I see him in the movies he rattles cellophane
He's always got a dumb expression on his face
Makes me feel sorry for the human race
'Cause I've got a funny feeling that he's runnin' the place...