Cledus T. Judd: I'm Going Ugly Early Tonight

Well me and Bobby Ray was goin down to a pickup joint just outside of town,
You know a metting market, where you pick up chicks
Well knowing Bobby Ray as i do, He'll be goin home alone before the night is through,
He's just too darn picky, he's always wantin to score big!
Well I'm not leavin here alone, I'm gonna compromise, early on,
Yea, I'm goin ugly early tonight,
She may not be a beauty queen but thats alright,
I'm not waitin round for one that looks good in the light,
I'm goin ugly early tonight
So Bobby I says,
Please dont stare, but check them 2 out standin over there,
He says you mean the good lookin blonde and the one with the big zits?
I says, Yea thats right and heres my plan, im not goin for miss scandinavian, Her chubby lil friend...well thats my pick
You can drink them cute but not skinny,
You get too picky, you aint gettin any
So im goin ugly early tonight,
She may not be a beauty queen but thats alright,
I'm not waitin round for on who looks good in the light,
Im goin ugly early tonight.
Then all of a sudden to my suprise, the pretty one was givin me the eye,
and i was fixin to move up from a 2 to a 10!
She said, you know i dont live to far from here,
I'll get my purse and you pay for them beers,
And i was feelin pretty puffed up til she turned to her friend.
I guess she didn't i'd here,
them hurtful words she whispered in little chubby's ear,
Yea im goin ugly early tonight,
His friend is better lookin but i aint got the time,
I'm not waitin round for one that looks good in the light,
she sed im goin ugly early tonight.
You know she really hurt my pride but way down deep inside
Im glad shes goin ugly tonight!