Doug Anthony All Stars: Skinhead Sooty

'We bring some news from the orient, apparently Sooty, that well loved blue peter figure, has recently become a fascist skinhead. We bring this news to you that may be quite surprising that he has changed his politics and his hairstyle but quite frankly, I'm not surprised, him being the only bear in television to constantly be fist-fucking.'

Sooty's all grown up he's not a puppet anymore.
He's interested in getting pissed and passing out on the floor.
He grassed Basil Brush with a bottle of Stout,
And threw a dart in Sweep's eyes before he pulled it out.
Who's that walking on air?
Bouncing down the street without a care.
It's skinhead Sooty with a killer xylophone,
Blood soaked bovver boots and a racist attitude.
A mean looking mother son, not afraid of anyone,
Got the others on the run.
Here he comes, here he comes,
Sooty the skinhead.
Oi! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! Oi!

Sooty's got a tattoo and he's gone and shaved his head,
He's dating Muppets half his age and getting 'em into bed.
He says his friends are all miserable pricks,
They're married now, or dead, or gone all mentally sick.
Who's that walking on air?
Bouncing down the street without a care.
Well, the hunt caught up with Basil Brush and he got clubbed to death.
Bill and Ben got Little Weed and smoked it in the shed,
Zebedee OD'ed on E and now he's pushing clover.
Dougall blindly humps the leg of his owner

"I say! What's that tune?" said Dougall, "Last post, damn splinter! Ow!"

Buddy is a bigot, The Clangers flew away,
The Thunderbirds are puppets, NO!
And Andy Pandy's gay
'and proud people, no strings on Andy he stands up for himself!'
Who's causing havoc on the docks,
In a pair of bright red braces and cherry red Docs?
Skinhead Sooty, with a killer xylophone,
Blood soaked Stanley knife and a racist attitude.
He'll wait until you're all alone,
Crack your skull break your bones,
Send the pieces to your home.
He's a one, all in fun,
Sooty the Skinhead.
Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, OI!