Frank Zappa: Catholic Girls

Act I

SCENE THREE
CATHOLIC GIRLS


A festive CYO party with crepe paper streamers, contestants
for the broom dance, the "hokey cokey", baked goods, & FATHER RILEY
making sure the lights don't go down too low...

Father Riley And Various Party Goers:

(Well)
Catholic Girls
With a tiny little mustache
Catholic Girls
Do you know how they go?
Catholic Girls
In the Rectory Basement
Father Riley's a fairy
But it don't bother Mary

Catholic Girls
At the CYO
Catholic Girls
Do you know how they go?
Catholic Girls
There can be no replacement
How do they go, after the show?

Joe:

All the way
(That's right, all the way!)
That's the way they go
Every day
(That's right!)
And none of their mamas ever seem to know
Hip-Hip-Hooray
For all the class they show
There's nothing like a Catholic Girl
At the CYO
When they learn to blow . . .

Father Riley:
They're learning to blow
All the Catholic Boys!
Mary:
Warren Cuccurullo . . .
Father Riley:
Catholic Boys!
Mary:
Kinda young, kinda WOW!
Father Riley:
Catholic Boys!
Mary:
Vinnie Colaiuta . . .
Chorus:
Where are they now?
Did they all take The Vow?


Father Riley:
Catholic Girls!
Warren:
Carmenita Scarfone!
Father Riley:
Catholic Girls!
Officer Butzis:
Hey! She gave me VD!
Father Riley:
Catholic Girls!
Warren:
Toni Carbone!
Chorus:
With a tongue like a cow
She could make you go WOW!
Joe:
VD Vowdy vootie
Right away
That's the way they go
Every day
Whenever their mamas take them to a show
Matinee
Pass the popcorn please
There's nothing like a Catholic Girl
With her hand in the box
When she's on her knees

Larry:
She was on her knees
My little Catholic Girl
Chorus:
In a little white dress
Catholic Girls
They never confess
Catholic Girls
I got one for a cousin
I love how they go
So send me a dozen
Catholic Girls
OOOOOOH!
(Well well now)
Catholic Girls
(Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-mum)
Yai-ee-ahhh!
Catholic Girls
OOOOOOH!
(Well well now)
Catholic Girls
(Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-ma-ma-mum)
Yai-ee-ahhh!

Joe had a girl friend named Mary.
They would meet each other at the Social Club.
Hold hands
And think Pure Thoughts
But one night, at the Social Club meeting...