Haylie Duff: Babysitting Is A Bum Deal

(Singers:)
Here is the tale of a babysitting job,
the baby is something of a snob,

(Stewie:)
Oh, go f**k yourselves

(Singers:)
So listen very closely, and you'll find
that what they say is not the same as what's on their minds

(Haylie:)
Aren't you a cute little boy

(Haylie's Thoughts:)
look at that melon shaped head

(Stewie:)
Having you here is a joy

(Stewie's Thoughts:)
and in an hour you'll be dead

(Haylie:)
Sit on my knee

(Haylie's Thoughts:)
please don't go poo

(Stewie:)
Nice place to be

(Stewie's Thoughts:)
This one's for you

(Both:)
Babysitting is a bum deal

(Haylie:)
Why don't we watch Will & Grace

(Thought:)
Jesus, do I need a smoke

(Stewie:)
Jack puts a smile on my face

(Thought:)
oh, what a surprise, a gay joke

(Haylie:)
I like your house

(Thought:)
the ceiling has cracks

(Stewie:)
I like your blouse

(Thought:)
Miss TJ Maxx

(Both:)
Babysitting is a bum deal

(Singers:)
So they sat as time went by

(Haylie:)
slowly as time could go

(Singers:)
the baby blarred, and softly cursed


(Stewie:)
cause her lips, and her skirt, and her shoes,
and her hair made her look like a hoe

(Haylie:)
Time for your bottle my sweet

(Thought:)
This little brat smells like piss

(Stewie:)
alway's a succulent treat

(Thought:)
while I suck that, you suck this

(Haylie:)
Aren't you a sight

(Thought:)
look at him drool

(Stewie:)
you're a delight

(Thought:)
Damn you, you fool

(Both:)
Babysitting is a bum deal

(Singers:)
The diaper change was quite a job

(Haylie:)
the grossest I've ever seen

(Singers:)
The baby smiled and took a breath

(Stewie:)
and I grunted and pooped out a poop,
that looked something like Matthew Modine

(Haylie:)
someday you might meet a girl

(Thought:)
yeah, she's gonna be your right hand

(Stewie:)
Maybe it's you my sweet pearl

(Thought:)
darling, i'd rather f**k sand

(Haylie:)
Have a good night

(Thought:)
you little creep

(Stewie:)
Have a good night

(Thought:)
Die in your sleep

(Both:)
Babysitting is a bum deal
Babysitting is a bum deal