Marc Almond: Joey Demento

And if one day I should become
A singer with a Spanish bum
Who sings for women of great virtue
I'd sing to them with a guitar
I borrowed from a coffee bar
Well, what you don't know doesn't hurt you
My name would be Antonio
And all my bridges I would burn
And when I gave them some they'd know
I'd expect something in return
I'd have to get drunk every night
And talk about virility
With some old grandmother
That might be decked out like a Christmas tree
And no pink elephant I'd see
Though I'd be drunk as I could be
Still I would sing my song to me
About the time they called me "Jacky"
If I could be for only an hour
If I could be for an hour every day
If I could be for just one little hour
Cute in a stupid ass way
And if I joined the social whirl
Became procurer of young girls
Then I could have my own bordellos
My record would be number one
And I'd sell records by the ton
All sung by many other fellows
My name would then be handsome Jack
And I'd sell boats of opium
Whisky that came from Twickenham
Authentic queens
And phoney virgins
I'd have a bank on every finger
A finger in every country
And every country ruled by me
I'd still know where I'd want to be
Locked up inside my opium den
Surrounded by some china men
I'd sing the song that I sang then
About the time they called me "Jacky"
If I could be for only an hour
If I could be for an hour every day
If I could be for just one little hour
Cute in a stupid ass way
Now, tell me, wouldn't it be nice
That if one day in paradise
I'd sing for all the ladies up there
And they would sing along with me
And we be so happy there to be
'Cos down below is really nowhere
My name would then be "Jupiter"
Then I would know where I was going
Become all knowing
My beard so very long and flowing
If I could play deaf, dumb and blind
Because I pitied all mankind
And broke my heart to make things right
I know that every single night
When my angelic work was through
The angels and the Devil too
Could sing my childhood song to me
About the time they called me "Jacky"
If I could be for only an hour
If I could be for an hour every day
If I could be for just one little hour
Cute in a stupid ass way
Caught between two love affairs
I brush my teeth and comb my hair
My lonely neighbour called today
And asked me, has he gone away
I lied to her like I lied to him
I lie to myself about everything
Love, what is love?
Love, what is love?
Love is a time
Love is a place
Love is a season
Love is a case of love
Love is a time
Love is a place
Love is a season
Love is a case of love
And so my life repeats itself
Like rhythms in a drum machine
The one who was the one to come
And all of those who might have been
I cry for them like I cry for him
I cry to myself about everything
Love, what is love?
Love, what is love?
Love is a fever
Love is a dream
Sometimes so hard, it can make you scream
Love is a liar
Love can be cruel
Love is an icon, love is a jewel
They let you down
They leave you standing in the rain
They take the joy and leave the pain
Caught between two love affairs
Is it true that no one really cares
My lonely neighbour leaves today
And no one comes to take her place
I lied to her like I lied to him
Now they're gone can I lie about anything
What is love?
Love, what is love? Love, what is love? Love, what is love?