Sammy J: The Fingering Song

Well, Jim fingered Jenny, and Paul fingered Penny
And Phil fingered Anne and Melissa
And John fingered Tess, and then John fingered Jess
Although he still refuses to kiss her
And Rachel got fingered by Robbie
Behind the maintenance shed
But then she told Chels who told everyone else
And now she's being fingered instead

Well, Scott fingered Sandy and Mike fingered Mandy
And Joe fingered Jill we suspected
Rick fingered Anita and Claire fingered Peter
It wasn't quite what was expected
And Sally got fingered by Simon
When she fell asleep on the bus
And when she came to, Simon said he came, too
And nobody got it but us

Well, Bob fingered Betty and Bill fingered Becky
She told us that he tried to fist her
And George fingered Jen, and what about Ken?
Well, I heard that he fingered his sister
And Catherine got fingered by Cameron
Whose hands he refuses to rinse
And Sue's on the shelf so she fingered herself
And she's been a lot happier since

Well, Chris fingered Chloe and Ray fingered Kate
At the party where Ben fingered Bridget
He told me outside he was unsatisfied
Because she limited him to one digit
And Lisa got fingered by Lucas
But she dumped him and went off with Jack
She he fingered her friend until Lisa began to feel jealous and lingered
Waiting to be fingered until Lucas wanted her back

Ron fingered Jacinta the long-distance sprinter
He blinked for a second and lost her
And so many boys have been fingering Josephine
She had to set up a roster
And Carla got fingered by Kieran
As she was plaiting her hair
And when Lee fingered Liesel, he stuck up a Cheesel
And some people say it's still there

Well, Rob fingered Lily and and Matt fingered Milly
And Ken fingered Kim and got stuck
And Mark fingered Mark, but that's not as scary
As Gypsy, who fingered a duck
And Alice got fingered by Andrew
Standing in line at Big Ben
But poor little Ingrid, she didn't get fingered
Until she had got to Year Ten