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The Lads From Macc - Macc Lads

"Ten pints of Boddies and a barley wine, We've got to make the Bear's Head before closing time. We're the Macc Lads, we were born in a pub, We like us ale and we like us grub, We're the Macc Lads and we"

The Macc Lads' Party - Macc Lads

"Where's the f**king party? Someone's in the kitchen eating pies and mucky tarts, Bammy's in the bathroom and he's lighting up his farts. Now Peter's supping bitter, he's getting really canned, He locks"

Charlotte - Macc Lads

"I walked into the Nag's Head for to sustinate me belly, There was a fit crack in the corner but I knew her cunt was smelly, She smelt of rotting fish heads and old and crispy sick, Said her name was Charlotte"

Twenty Pints - Macc Lads

"Sup up, lad, I've spilt more ale down me waistcoat Than you've supped tonight. Bonnington's or Willy's lads? Willy's tastes like piss. I've got ten pints down me neck the night, He's blown some froth off"

Failure With Girls - Macc Lads

"I've got an ugly face, With spots all over the place, I haven't got any mates, And me clothes have gone out of date. I go to the pub on me own, And I drink me orange alone, I sit and stare at the crack, But"

Get Weavin' - Macc Lads

"Get weavin'. Well the fair comes down just once every year, The Macc Lads go there when they've supped their beer, So get weavin', With the Brut 33, And forget your tea, We're going down town to get some"

Miss Macclesfield - Macc Lads

"She was the perfect woman, She was my kind of a bird, 'Cos she stayed in the kitchen and she never said a word. She had real big tits and a lovely slappable arse, But now she's into barbeques and wine"

Now He's A Poof - Macc Lads

"Get stuffed you arse bandit. One of me best mates, He come from Macc, And we used to go out pulling crack, Now we know it were just a farce, 'Cos he's got spunk dribbling out of his arse. He's got scabs"

Gordon's Revenge - Macc Lads

"Ah so. The ducks are sitting and I making my list now, Macc Lads stagger in and their all f**king pissed, The f**king drunk bastards can't take their beer, Free gravy tonight, I've got bad diarrhoea. Sea"

All Day Drinkin' - Macc Lads

"Staggered in MacDonalds on a Friday afternoon, All the pubs were shut, There were knob all else fer do. I said, "Gissus a Big Mac now you spotty little twat." He said, "Have a nice day sir, would you like"

Alton Towers - Macc Lads

"F**king right. Bank holiday Monday, By Sunday I was.... So let's f**k off to Alton Towers. One or two, quite a few in the queue for the bumper cars. Fit crack on the lake but her mate's got a flabby arse. So"

Ben Nevis - Macc Lads

"He squidges in the van, All twenty four stones, He gets three kebabs and he eats them on his own, Quick trouser cough Nevis touches cloth, F**k f**k hide behind a truck, all the windows are steaming up. Gas"

Blackpool - Macc Lads

"One day after closing I was lying on me nest,When Stez shouts "get yer bags on, come on outside."So I grabbed me stripy tank-top, I 'ad beer stains on me vest,An' I said "best get some cans in, it's a"

Bloik! - Macc Lads

"Yaaaaaaaaaw! Dick Head was a pratt, he drove a Skoda with extra lamps on, Always dickin' prattin', Looked like a reuseable tampon. Tried to chat the birds up, He'd always end up bleedin', It's tough when"

Boddies - Macc Lads

"Well you ain't been goin' down the pub, You ain't been playing darts, You ain't been doin' what you should, You've been hangin' out with yer tart. You've got fer get some Boddies down thee, You know where"

Buenos Aries - Macc Lads

"Get at 'em. There was a load bloody faries, In Buenos bloody Aries, With greasy hair and sweaty bums, They'd never heard of Bonningtons, It were a different culture and a different race, No chippies in"

Dan's Underpant - Macc Lads

"We all went down New Delih, We had too much curry and aching bellies. Peter got gut rot and puked on the floor, Stez Styx banging on shithouse door. I says, come on lads and finish your Bombay duck, We're"

Dead Cat - Macc Lads

"A ya ya ya ya ya yaaar... No petrol in the van, Knee deep in empty cans, We've lost the map, the tyre's flat, the bloody kid's been banned, We stopped off for some grease, Nevis is obese, We left him standing"

Fluffy Pup - Macc Lads

"Well, I spent last night trying to chuck me bird, She were clinging to me leg like an old sick turd, I said your tits are too small and your legs are too short, I want a fit bird from the Sunday Sport, I"

Geordie Girl - Macc Lads

"New face in the pub on a Friday night. "You alright?" I asked where she worked, she said, "Iawok dahn sayan" She were feeling "kanna closhy" She were of t'"Neddie" I think she must have meant the bog. Do"

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