The Arrogant Worms: Shipwreck Balladeer

I have been since seventeen a shipwreck balladeer
Tragedy and misery are what makes my career
Watery graves are my stock and trade, but it's getting harder
For all the boats that now do float are returning safely to the harbour

There hasn't been a shipwreck scene since 1965
And I find I cry each time a crew returns alive
I only cheer when gales appear and threaten fresh disaster
They pass by, the boat survives, only my career's in tatters

They're building ships too good today, and I'm the one who suffers
They don't get rent from aft to stern and their halls never rupture
Not dashed on rocks and never tossed to heaven on a wave
You may think it well and good but my livelihood sails away

There once were found, twenty in town, who wrote about shipwrecks
When boats sank lots, just like rocks, 'twas good as it gets
But the golden ages passed away and I'm barely survivin'
The balladeers are dead I fear and workin' in advertisin'

They're building ships too good today and it's hurtin' me
Why can't even one poor soul fall into the dark sea
And be ripped apart by hungry sharks in a bloody spree
You may think it well and good, but my livelihood sails away

Oh the only tragedy left to sing about is me

That government bastard's been sent to take my job from me
That inspector's making sure the ships are seaworthy
He can try, no way will I ever give up hope
When he went by, I did pry a big hole in his boat

They're building ships too good today, so I helped one along
How sweet it is to once again hear the tortured song
Of a man afloat a sinking boat, who knows he will die today
You might think it bad not good, but my livelihood's here to stay
It's here to staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay