Diana Ross: I'm the greatest star

SPOKEN: (Hey! Can we have your autograph?) My autograph? I'm nobody. But wait a minute! I've got 36 expressions sweet as pie to tough as leather. And that's 6 expressions more than all the Barrymores put together. (Only six?) Instead of kicking me, why don't they give me a lift? I think it's a plot 'cause they're scared that I got such a gift. I'm miffed 'cause... I'm the greatest star I am by far But nobody knows it Wait, they're gonna her a voice, A silver flute They'll cheer each toot When I expose it Can't you see the look at me That I'm a natural Camille? As Camille, I just feel I have so much to offer I know I'll be divine because I'm a natural cougher (Some ain't got it, not a lump She's a great big clump of talent Laugh) SPOKEN: Hee hee ha ha ha! (They'll bend in half) SPOKEN: Hear the story 'bout the traveling salesman? (A thousand laughs) SPOKEN: Stick around for the jokes, folks (A thousand faces) SPOKEN: I reiterate When you're gifted, then you're gifted These are facts, I have no axe to grind Hey! What, are they blind? In all of the world so far, I'm the greatest star Who is the pip with pizzazz? Who is all ginger and jazz? Who is as glamourous as? Who's an American beauty rose With that American beauty nose And ten American beauty toes? (Eyes on the target and wham!) One shot, one gunshot, and bam! Hey, world, here I aaaaaaaaaaaaaam! (She is the greatest, the bestest, the greatest She is the greatest, the bestest, the greatest) I'm the greatest star I am by far But nobody knows it That's why I was born I'll blow my horn 'Til somebody hears it I'll light up like a light Right up like a light I'll flicker and flare up All the world's gonna stare up Lookin' down, you'll never see me Try the sky, 'cause that'll be me And I can make them cry I can make them sigh Someday, they'll clamor For my dram-er (Have you guessed yet? Who's the best yet?) If you ain't, I'll tell you one more time You bet your last dime In all the world so far, (She's the greatest, greatest star) Funny, ha! life is far from sunny When the laugh is over, and the joke's on you Well, a girl's gotta have a sense of humor That's one thing you really need for sure When you're a funny girl, The fellow said "a funny girl" Funny how it ain't so funny Wow! funny girl They're the luckiest people in the world With one person, one very special person A feeling deep in your soul Says you were half, now you're whole No more hunger and thirst But first, be a person who needs people People who need people Are the luckiest people in the world! (One shot, one gunshot, and bam!)