Eminem: Crimirnal

[Intro]
Alot of people ask me,
Stupid f**king questions,
alot of people think that,
what i say on record,
or what i talk abouton the record,
that i actually, do in real life,
or that i believe in it,
or if i say i wanna kill somebody that,
im actually gonna do it or that i believe in it
bull shit,
if you believe that,
then i'll kill you [Laughs]
ya know why?
cause im a
CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
youre goddamn right
im a CRIMINAL
yeah im a CRIMINAL

[Verse 1]
My words are like a dagger wit a jagged edge
that'll stab you in da head
whether youre a fag or les
or the homosex, hermpah, or a trans-a-vest,
pants or dress: hate fags: the answers yes
homophobic nah you just heterophobic
starin at my jeans wathcin my genitals boulgin
[ooh] thats my muthaf**kin balls,
you betta let go of 'em,
they belong in my scrotum youll never get ahold of 'em [haha]
hey its me Resache,
WHOOPS somebody shot me,
and i was just checkin the mail,
get it checkin the male [tounge clicks]
how many record you expectin' to sell
after your 2nd LP sends you directly to jail
C'mon relax guys
i like gay men right ken
gimmie an amen [aaaaaamen]
please lod this boy needs jesus
heal this child; help us destroy these demons,
oh, and please send me a brand new car
and a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher Preacher 5th grade teacher
you cant reach me
my mom cant neither [nope]
you cant teach me a goddamn thing cause,
i watch T.V. and Comcast cable
and you aint able ta stop these thoughts
and you cant stop me from toppin these charts
and you cant stop me from droppin each March;
with a brand new CD for these f**king retards[duhhr]
and da think, its just lil' old me
Mr. dont give a f**k still wont leave

[Chorus x2]
I'ma
CRIMINAL
cause every time i write a rhyme
these people think its a crime
to tell em whats on my mind
I guess I'ma
CRIMINAL
I dont gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
and keep goin'
I dont take shit from no one
I'ma
CRIMINAL

[Verse 2]


My mother did drugs: hard liqor, cigarettes and speed
the baby came out disfigured ligaments indeed
it was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
dont dare make fun of dat baby cause that baby was me I'ma
CRIMINAL
an animal caged will turned crazed
but how the f**k you 'sposed da grow up when ya werent raised
so as i got older and i got alot taller,
my dick shrunk smaller but my balls got larger
I'll drink more liqor da f**k you up quicker
than you'd wanna f**k me up for sayin da word N*****
My morals went [fart noise]
when the president got oral
sex in his oval office on top of his desk with mark his own employee
now dont ignore me you wont avoid me
you cant miss me im white, blonde hair and my nose is pointy
im the bad guy,
who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
as long as it aint happen da him
Slim Shady im as crazy as em-inem and kim combined
[buzz] the maniac's in
replacin the doctor cause dre. couldnt make it today
he's a little under the weather so im takin his place
oh thats dre. wit and ak to his face,
dont make me kill him to and spray his brains all over the place
i told you dre. you should've kept that thing put away i guess that'll teach you not to let me play wit it ay

[Interlude skit]

Dre: ite look just go up to dat muthaf**ker, get the muthaf**kin money and get the f**k up outta there
Eminem: Ite
Dre: Aiyyo Em
Eminem: Whaaat
Dre: Dont kill nobody dis time
Eminem: ite ,goddamn what the f**k
emienem [whistling]
Clerk:Hi
Eminem: How you doin. I need to make a withdraw
Clerk: OK
Eminem: Put the f**king money in the bag bitch and i wont kill you
Clerk:Dont kill me
Eminem: I said i wasnt gonna f**king kill you
Quit lookin around
Hurry the f**k up [GUNSHOT]THANK YOU
[Verse 3]
Windows tinted on my ride when i drive in it
so when i rob a bank run out and just dive in it
so when the guys in it
and if anyone identifies the guy in it
i'll hide for 5 minutes
come back, shoot the eye witness
fire at the private eye who fired me from my business
Die bitches, bastards, brats pets,
this puppy's lucky i didnt blast his ass yet
if i ever gave a f**k i'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck
you motherf**king chickens aint brave enough to say the stuff i say so just tape it shut
shit half the shit i say i just make it up to make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
and if it's not a rapper that i'll make it as
I'ma be a f**king rapist in a jason mask

[Chorus x4]