Eminem: Dads Gone Crazy

{*channel surfing until a kid's TV show*}
Hello boys and girls!
Today we're gonna talk about father and daughter relationships
Do you have a daddy? I'll bet you do!
Who's your daddy?
[Hailie] Daddy what are you doing?
[Em + H] Okay then! Everybody, listen up!
[Eminem] I'm goin to hell! Who's comin with me?!
[Hailie] Somebody please help me! I think my dad's gone cray-zayy
[Eminem]
There's no mountain I can't climb, there's no tower too high
No plane that I can't learn how to fly
What do I gotta do to get through to you
to show you there ain't nothin I can't take this chainsaw to?
{Hailie: *VROOM*} Fuckin brains, brawn and brass balls
I cut 'em off, and got 'em pickled and bronzed in a glass jar
inside of a hall with my framed autographed sunglasses
with Elton John's name, on my drag wall
I'm out the closet, I've been lyin my ass off
All this time me and Dre been fuckin with hats off
(Suck it Marshall!) So tell Laura and her husband to back off
'fore I push this motherfuckin button and blast off
and launch one at these Russians and that's all {*boom*}
Blow every fuckin thing except Afghanistan on the map off
When will it stop? When will I knock the crap off?
{*knocking*} Hailie, tell 'em baby - (My dad's lost it!)
[Chorus: Eminem] + {Hailie}
There's really nothin else to say, I-I can't explain it
{I think my dad's gone cray-zayy}
A little help from Hailie Jade, won't you tell 'em baby
{I think my dad's gone cray-zayy}
There's nothin you could do or say, that could ever change me
{I think my dad's gone cray-zayy}
There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie
{I think my dad's gone cray-zayy}
[Eminem]
It's like my mother always told me
Rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana and codeine
and God dammit you little motherfucker
If you ain't got nuthin nice to say then don't say nuthin
... uh, fuck that shit bitch!
Eat a motherfuckin dick, chew on a prick
and lick a million motherfuckin cocks per second
I'd rather put out a motherfuckin gospel record
I'd rather be a pussy-whipped bitch, eat pussy
and have pussy lips glued to my face with a clit ring
in my nose than quit bringin my flows
Quit givin me my ammo; can't you see why I'm so mean?
If y'all leave me alone this wouldn't be my M.O.
I wouldn't have to go eenee-meene-mini-moe
Catch a homo by his toe, man I don't know no more
Am I the only fuckin one who's normal any more? {Dad!}
[Chorus]
[Eminem]
My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise
at the same time, can make you dry your eyes
with the same rhyme; see what you're seein is a genius at work
Which to me isn't work
So it's easy to misinterpret it at first
cause when I speak, it's tongue-in-cheek
I'd yank my fuckin teeth
Before I'd ever bite my tongue, I'd slice my gums
Get struck by fuckin lightnin twice at once
and die and come back as Vanilla Ice's son
And walk around the rest of my life spit on
and kicked and hit with shit everytime I sung
like R. Kelly as soon as "Bump and Grind" comes on
More pain inside of my brain than the eyes of a little girl
inside of a plane, aimed at the World Trade
Standin on Ronnie's grave, screamin at the sky
'til clouds gather it's Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade
And that's pretty much the gist of it
The parents are pissed but the kids love it
9 millimeter heater stashed in 2 seaters with meat cleavers
I don't blame you, I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither
[Chorus]
[Hailie]
Ha ha ha ha!!
You're funny daddy!