Forgive Durden: Doctor Doctor

''Doctor Dumaya''
Hahaha! Spiders, c'mere!
Hahaha!
Who's there?
Someone's here!

Welcome to my humble abode
Please don't mind the mess
Just nest yourself down comfortable
Let the doctor do the rest

Dear ghost, you look white as a sheet
Just have yourself a seat
Open wide and say "Ah"
Let the doctor take a peek

Now I must admit I knew you'd come
The boy and his love
Eloped to save her from disease
Wash your hands of her blood!

I don't want to alarm you
But you certainly are ill!
Stricken with a sickness
Deadly enough to kill!
Even the strongest man
Would drop dead where he stands!
I urge that we make haste
If you are to stand a chance...

Spiders...scalpel!
Forceps!
Hope's breath
Just a pinch, now, spiders, just a pinch
Hahaha!
That was too much!

Now what you got ain't no quick fix
It ain't no common cold
What you need's a bona fide
Doctor's miracle

Now the thing about miracles
Is that they don't grow on trees
They don't fall from the sky
You need a doctor like me!
It just ain't easy...

Lucky for you, you found me!
So the rest should be no fuss
But before we get to savin' lives
There's a few things to discuss

Now I'm sure you're wonderin'
What's in it for me?
Surely I would not perform
These miracles for free!
I'm not askin' for a lot
It won't cost you a dime
I just want the princess here with me
Till the end of time!

(Hahaha!)
I promise to take care of her...
More rather, she'll take care of me!
The rest of her life in the Dark, fulfilling
Doctor's fantasies!

''Anhura''
I can't do this...

''Adakias''
But you must, Princess!

''Anhura''
Sign my life away...

''Adakias''
It's the only way!
Trust me, I know,
How this must go!
Just do what the doctor says

''Narrator''
He mixed elixirs and philters
Pried scrolls and read excerpts
He spoke in foreign phonetics
And read runes from ancient relics
Stirred ointments with potions
And unctions with doses
He whisked it until smoke rose
And seeped into her nose!

The illness had relinquished
The doctor had fixed it
The cleansing accomplished
Their love was free to flourish
But before it could sink in
The front door was kicked in!
Standing in its place was Pallis!
Driven by malice, he had barged in
To challenge Adakias!
To prove their love
Their word wouldn't be enough
Pallis needed it in blood