Hank Green: I'm Gonna Kill You

Hello evil lady
At the grocery store
It seems that you don't know
What the express lane is for
It says twelve items or less
But you're exempt from that I guess
And you started an argument about coupons

Don't make me kill you
Over twenty five cents
I'll give you a freakin' quarter
If it makes that much difference
And you just remembered something you forgot to get
Your husband will be right back with it
OK, that's it
I'm gonna kill you

Yeah I'm gonna kill you
And possibly your whole family too
All I want is some courtesy
Some kindness and maybe an apology
If you don't get out of my grocery line
I'll do Scorpion's fatality and rip out your spine
I'm usually a very peaceful person
But I'm gonna kill you

I just wrote a note to the guy down the street
Who recently invested in a giant SUV
It said "I hope you know that we're fightin' a war
So you can get your fat ass home from the grocery store
You better trade it in, or I'm gonna kill you"

Yeah I'm gonna kill you
With a car bomb in your H2
I don't think it'd be too much to ask
For you to be a bit less of an ass
I suggest you reinvest in a Honda Fit
If you don't, you're gonna regret it
I'm usually a very peaceful person,
But I'm gonna kill you

It's 3:00 AM and my neighbor upstairs
Is actually worse than my worst nightmares
He had some friends over
For some late-night Red Rover
And now...yeah...they're practicing tap dance

Yeah I'm gonna kill you
And all your loud-ass friends too
I don't think it'd be too much to ask
For you to be a bit less of an ass
If I don't get some peace and quiet
I'll put you on a strychnine diet
I'm usually a very peaceful person
But I'm gonna kill you.