Hello Saferide: My Best Friend

You call me up in the mornings
We'll stay on the phone until dawning
You tell me secrets I actually keep
You call me up around noon and
Bring me all the good gossip
You hold my head when I throw up
I hold your hand when you weep

And we talk about friends and we talk about records,
Talk about life and we'll talk about death
And we dance in the living room
Dance on the sidewalks,
Dance in the movies,
Dance at the festivals,
Dance, dance
No men ever really dance like this

Damn! I wish I was a lesbian
Damn! I wish I was a lesbian
Damn! I wish I was and that you were too
Damn! I wish I was a lesbian
Damn! I wish I was a lesbian
Damn! I wish I was, so I could fall in love with you

You call me up in the evenings
And tell me what they did this time
No matter what, I'm by your side
When it's raining, we'll go to the video store
We even like the same movies
No damn jedis or hobbits, this time!

And you laugh at my jokes
And I laugh at your jokes
And I even like the birthday presents you get me
And we dance in the living room
Dance on the sidewalks
Dance in the movies
Dance at the festivals
Let's dance, dance
No men ever really dance like this

Damn! I wish I was a lesbian
Damn! I wish I was a lesbian
Damn! I wish I was and that you were too
Damn! I wish I was a lesbian
Damn! I wish I was a lesbian
Damn! I wish I was, so I could fall in love with you
So I could fall in love with you

Why don't, why don't I fall?
Why don't, why don't I fall?
Why don't I fall in love with you?
Why don't, why don't I fall?
Why don't, why don't I fall?
Why don't I just fall in love with you?
Why don't, why don't I fall?
Why don't, why don't I fall?
Why don't I just fall in love with you?