ICP: Hellalujah

Give God the first portion of your income, say that with me,Give God the first portion of your income. Give it first!Not after deducts, not after the social security, and the hospitilization, and the malnutrition. Not after all these things on your check you say, Im gonna give God a little whatsleft. You do, and thats what you gonna get from God.[Violent J]Who am I? Im not the DevilI can take you to my levelAbove the rocks, above the earthTell me what your soul is worthHow much money do you make?How much will you let me take?I will give you tranquiltyJust send your wealth and checks to meLife is going to expireAnd your soul will burn in fireYou will perish in the thunderUnless you call my hotline numberGod has asked you to make me richMe and my fat-whack gaudy bitchOn your T.V.s late at nightSend those checks and Ill guide you to the lightDont put away your wallets just yet, brothers and sisters. Theressomebody here Id like all of you to meet. This is little Jonathan.Jonathan, say hello to the lovely people, (hello). Jonathan has problems. Twisted neck, tangled legs, crooked spine, but we can healthis boy. For just, uh, six thousand dollars, we can heal this boy![Violent J]God had called me and then stopped byAnd he told me youre gonna dieUnless you buy my holy waterCheck, cash, or a money orderThis is true, dont question meIll even send you shit for freeIts only ten bucks for the callAnd Ill send a prayer, no charge at allPut your lips up to the screenClose your eyelids and interveneYour lips to mine, now send the cashAnd while youre there, you can kiss my assTake your paycheck and send me halfAnd Ill send you Gods autographIll get Allahs and Buddhas tooEven Zeus, I dont give a fuck whoJust send me that moneyWould you like to healed, little Jonathan? (yes, reverand).You see brothers and sisters, this...(beep-beep beep-beep)Excuse me. I told you never to page me on a sermon day. Yes?Uh-huh. Hallalujah. Outty. People, that was the lord, today only,he will heal this boy, for just five thousand dollars!Pass the collection plate (show-show me how you give)Pass the collection plate (g-give-give, how to live)Pass the collection plate (show-show-show me how you give)Pass the collection plate (show me how you give, Ill tell you how to live)[Violent J]Your totals twenty-two elevenFor your set of keys to heavenMake the checks out in my nameMe or God, its all the sameBring your crippled ass to mePay my usher the holy feeIll bless your legs and bless your chairThen wheel your bitch-ass outta hereNow a special ceremonyThis part dont cost any moneyDrip a drop of blessed waterNow I fertalize your daughterEven though I fucked a hookerTook your baby girl and shook herYou still buy everything I sellAnd Im living wellSee you in Hell!Four-thousand, eight-hundred, nine-hundred, five thousandHallalujah, you did it brothers and sisters. Are you ready, Jonathan?(yes, reverand) Lord Almighty, weve met your price, give me the healing power, I can feel it, Lord! Roomy loomy lama noma noomy! This boy is healed. (really?) Now to the naked eye, it would appear that this boy has not been healed, but I can assure you, this boys spirit has been healed. Inside this tangled, mangled frame is a healedlittle boy. His spirit is healed, Hallalujah!