Joe Budden: Angel In My Life

[Verse 1]
Let's look behind the Swarovski crystals
Behind the .50 calibers and the pistols
Misused, pardoned self got to excuse, my issues
For me to have you a ritual
But, I ain't as crazy as I seem to be
It's just that nothin' is the way that is seem's to me
Im feelin' less then, druggin' him up with anti-depressents
In essence im threatenin my character asessment
Truth told, I figure a few hoe's
Mixed with some new clothes should cover my loop holes
If I'm misundersttod or mis-guided
Started when they passed the L' said 'just try it'
When I don't wanna get out of bed I just fight it
Sometimes I don't eat for days I just diet
Only live once so if I just like it
I aint even checkin' the price, I just buy shit
I'm thinkin that will just hide it
But all it takes is life to ignite shit
I'm thinkin' bout death wonderin' how I'm gonna go
I can't be insane for just wantin' to know
In my head I die often, I used to think of suicide often
Good suit on and a nice coffin
But, that ain't somethin' I would try myself
Still they lock me in this room all by myself
I need a... think I need a.....
[Hook]
[Verse 2]
They say my symptoms are aggressive
They titled me a compulsive obsessive slash manic depressive
They trying to tell I'm a con and I game niggas
That's one reason I dont even entertain niggas
Not important who they are I won't name niggas
They like to say I got a tendency to blame niggas
I keep fuckin' shit up but keep tryin'
If ya'll would just trust me I wouldn't just keep lyin'
If I had bread I wouldn't be in debt
Let me clarify get in Def
I feel like every time I been less
When ever I invest whenever I inset I feel I'm innept
I try to make them understand but they just won't incept
I tell them four million others I am the templed
There ain't no book that tells a story there ain't no index
We got some different type of cuts and no they ain't princess
All this indigest seemingly in less
How I take in stress when I always went best
Aching in my chest and yet it still won't break me
They say the room is padded for my own safety
But the cushion don't soften shit
They locked the door but still they let my thoughts in it
And no one can tell me why I'm here
I can't even see the sky from here
I guess my time is near