Olivia Rodrigo: the grudge

i have nightmares each week about that friday in may
one phone call from you and my entire world was changed trust that you betrayed
confusion that still lingers
you took everything i loved and crushed it in between your fingers

and i doubt you ever think about the damage that you did but i hold onto every detail like my life depends on it
my undying love
now i hold it like a grudge
and i hear your voice every time i think i’m not enough
and i try to be tough, but i wanna scream
how could anybody do the things you did so easily and i say i don’t care
i say that i’m fine
but you know i can’t let it go
i’ve tried, i’ve tried, i’ve tried for so long
it takes strength to forgive but i don’t feel strong

the arguments that i have won against you in my head in the shower, in the car, and in the mirror before bed i’m so tough when i’m alone
and i make you feel so guilty
and i fantasize about a time you’re a little fucking sorry and i try to understand why you would do this all to me you must be insecure, you must be so unhappy
and i know in my heart hurt people hurt people
and we both drew blood, but man those cuts were never equal
and i try to be tough, but i wanna scream
how could anybody do the things you did so easily

and i say i don’t care i say that i’m fine
but you know i can’t let it go
i’ve tried, i’ve tried, i’ve tried for so long
it takes strength to forgive but i don’t feel strong

ooh, do you think i deserved it all? ooh, your flowers filled with vitriol? you built me up to watch me fall
you have everything and you still want more

i try to be tough i try to be mean
but even after all this, you’re still everything to me and i know you don’t care
i guess that that’s fine
but you know i can’t let it go
i’ve tried, i’ve tried, i’ve tried for so long

it takes strength to forgive but i’m not quite sure i’m there yet
it takes strength to forgive but