Tom Green: Don't Mess With A Man (After He Takes A Big Poo Poo)

[singing with beat]
Check it out, yeah
Don't mess with a man, right after he takes a big poo-poo,
It's not the time to be dramatic, right after he takes a big poo-poo,
You gotta watch what you say; right after a man takes a poo-poo,
Because his liable to freak out, right after he dumps his doo-doo.
I knew a guy named Jamal, addicted to prank phone calls,
He called the bowling alley to talk about his balls,
And then he hung up and hid in the bathroom stall, and took a big poo-poo,
It stunk so bad he didn't know what to do-do, the wallpaper started peeling,
So he wiped his butt and started dancing on the ceiling, just like Lionel Ritchie,
The only difference, he just taken a crap and his butt was itchy,
Then he went and caught a movie, and he ate some popcorn, started slurping on a spoon,
The chick in front of him said 'be quiet'
So he slapped the fucking fat bitch and told her to go on a diet,
See, her boyfriend started a riot, so he pulled out his glock and said 'don't even try it'
Don't mess with a man, right after he takes a big poo-poo,
It's not the time to be dramatic, right after he takes a big poo-poo,
You gotta watch what you say; right after a man takes a poo-poo,
Because his liable to freak out, right after he dumps his doo-doo.
One day I was sitting on the toilet, reading a magazine and trying to enjoy it,
I think it was an article in Popular Mechanics, bout how to use Mechano to make a praying mantis,
I got bored so I got off the crapper, washed my hands and turned the light off with a clapper,
See, I didn't want to hit the light switch, see, people with poo on their hands probably had touched it,
So then I went and bought some gum, and then I walked around the shopping mall acting like a dum-dum,
Shoplifting some jeans at Old Navy, put them on my head and acting all crazy,
I said 'look at me, everybody, I'm a man with jeans on my head and if you don't like it then you got no cred'
I flipped them all the bird and this is what I said, this is what I said!
Don't mess with a man, right after he takes a big poo-poo,
It's not the time to be dramatic, right after he takes a big poo-poo,
You gotta watch what you say; right after a man takes a poo-poo,
Because his liable to freak out, right after he dumps his doo-doo.
I heard about a guy named Ricky, he took a poo in a paper bag, it was sticky,
He went to detention, lit the bag on fire, now this is the type of story that I admire,
See the teacher stomped out the fire with his foot, and Ricky said,
'Bitch, you got my shit on your foot, ha, bitch, you got my shit on your foot, yeah!'
Ricky said 'Bitch, you got my shit on your foot, ha!'
Don't mess with a man, right after he takes a big poo-poo,
It's not the time to be dramatic, right after he takes a big poo-poo,
You gotta watch what you say; right after a man takes a poo-poo,
Because his liable to freak out, right after he dumps his doo-doo.