Aesop Rock: 1 of 4...

My name is Ian Mathias BavitzI was born in 1-9-7-6, at Biosfet hospital, located in Long Island, NYI am 6 foot, four I weigh 2-0-0 poundsI have brown hair and green eyesI enjoy writing songs, painting, movies and diner foodI have two brothers, Chris and Grahamand two parents, Paul and JameijaIn august of 2-0-0-1 I went crazy..This was originally not for public consumptionThis was made for four people... four people that literally saved my lifeThey know who they are..And ahhh I mean I could live to be a thousand years old and never re-pay themI don't think this song would pay themBut hopefully by putting it out, push the bank a little further..This ain't a burner for the whips (no it isn't)This ain't even Aesop Rock fly earthworm demeanor (no it isn't)My name is Ian Mathias Bavitz and I was born in Long Island, New YorkSeventy Six, before Graham and after Chris... OKIn August of 2001 my seemingly splinter-proof brain bone, scaffolding implodedI kept it on the hush, but nearly tumblingto the cold hard concrete on near bodega tripsfor cigarettes and soda, shook me to casperDizzy with a nausea chaser, motor sensory eraserGorophobe tunnel vision, guilt, self loathing arrangementsRose rapidly out a bog I'd never fished inthat abates three separate foreign medsWhile I use the hook line and sinker simple fishingSimple primitive self taught, easing of soul, mind and bodybut the symptoms rejected my cave-man modus operandiSo now it's one fish belly up, through medicated mileageShrinks that get 250 an hour for awkward silenceAnd, I'd be lying if I said all of thismade even the slightest fragment of sense to meThat's real... Simply putI don't know what happened, or what's still happeningI literally feel like I'm teetering on the blunt edge of my sanityJAIME, I killed the robots and I'm sorryBroke down in front of you, embarrassedbut you lent a heart and hand that only you couldyou're one of my best friends and yes I'd take that bullet for youThat's my word, which is about all I have leftTONY, I know you know I'm crazy, 'cause you told mebut that did never bother you, I hold you as my brother 'til deathAnd I got your back if ever the drunk goblin stepfor makin' a cat laugh, when I was walking with the deadKATHERINE, mother figure, older sister, concerned beyond limitsLetting me know I wasn't the only one with thisContinuous offers for vacation, Chicago visitsTalked me through repair of a head full of broken pistonsRIYAH, for the late night movie rentals and the company I neededAn' you knew it, but I just wouldn't admit itYou listened to me blab about my issues for hoursOffer incredible advice, gave me a hug when I was finishedAm I a jack of all trades? Nope... I like to write songs tho'Are they good? I dunno..But I could tell you that I only write shit down when I believe itSo take this how you want, but know I mean itI want you all to know that I'm scaredOut my fuckin' crooked soul and never faced a monster like the last few monthsever in my whole life... I wish I could explain this better (I can't)But the pieces won't formulate it to anything even close to cohesiveSo I guess this is my feeble way to thank youFour soldiers that extended something sacred off the purity of kindnessI owe you all my life and please don't argue with that statement'Cause without y'all I may not have a life to offer, take itThank youI wish I could explain this better. (Thank you)I'm sorry for burdening your pleasures. (Thank you)I love you all with all that's left of me. (Thank you)For helping try to kill what made a mess of me. (Thank you)Somehow, someway. (Thank you)I'ma get you back someday. (Thank you)Just gotta figure this all out... So..I guess it is kind of funny when you look at it from a step backHow one man can literally buckle under the same pressuresOther men operate normally underI have soaked this out from all angles, walking through timeI have been over everything in my head, still I can't think anymoreBut I guess some times, when you can't breathe, there are people thereto breathe for youI am lucky enough to have those people around meThank you for helping me to not dieThank you for helping me to not diePocket full of pennies, and a soul gone tiltCockpit full of memories and a dream full of guilt