Hot Soda Apparatus: Whorenado

Tornadoes came to visit last night I was sleeping peacefully sleeping on the roof of my garage

Peacefully, as I dreamed of laying a nameless piece of flesh the tornadoes came down to visit me Interrupting my vision of ecstacy

Groggily, I turned over to see who was disturbing me "what do you want from me? Can't you see I'm sleeping?" The tornado paid no attention to me with utter disregard, that pompous tornado went upon its path of destruction.

I was in no mood to take this kind of attitude from a lowly tornado That twister has no right to wake me up in the middle of the night What arrogance! I'll show that cyclone who's boss I'm not gonna let weather disturbances push me around We're the dominating force of this planet.

So I jumped into my Geo and floored it after that uppity tornado As luck would have it, the twister had veered off into a nearby cornfield. It was jumping around all over the place. It's gonna take more than that to escape my wrath!

I shifted my metro into 4 wheel drive and tore off the pavement into the field I'm comin' for ya you bastard! If you know what's good for ya, you'll run away!

Suddenly, second thoughts were flashing through my mind. That cyclone had completely reversed directions It was headed straight toward me.

Oh, ya wanna fight now, huh? Suddenly, you can see me? is that it? Well, wussy boy. Let's see whatchya got!

I downshifted and charged my cyclonic opponent. 55, 60, up to 80 miles per hour i raced through a fallow cornfield In my 95 metro.

But it seems that in my fit of rage I forgot that I needed to gas up before I went out tomorrow When I had departed, my tank was empty these excessive speeds have drained off my fumes I sputtered and spat and my car did the same I slowed to a stop and got out of the car.

Running toward that bastard of a cyclone I was shaking my fist and cursing its name I ran and i ran but it was no use.

That twister had outsmarted and outsped me. Of course it would have, I had just gotten up It had been on the prowl for hours before it met up with me

But a word to all you cyclones out there. Don't you ever think you can do to me what this pompous whorenado did. As they say in all those trite cliches, Revenge is sweet and mine is doubled. anything funnel-shaped must watch out for me. Even when I get my oil changed My distrust for the jiffy lube's equipment shows through.

I dare you to try it. You'll not outsmart me. I know what you think and I know what you're up to. You'll never defeat me Bring it on, all you Dykelones. Let's see what you got.