Tim Minchin: I'll Take Lonely Tonight

I'll take lonely tonight
Your offer is kind
And I must confess
That I find your casual caresses
And that pretty dress
Pretty hard to resist

And Christ what a night
I think you're pretty high
I know I'm pretty pissed
But I'll take lonely tonight
Though I'm not denying
I hate being alone

Even so, I know regret in the making
You're one of those others I swore I'd forsake
And although this extraction is taking
A great act of will
I got a girl
Has my heart in house on a hill
Somewhere here

So though I am hungry and tempted
I'm sorry, I'm not gonna bite
I'm gonna take lonely tonight

I'll take lonely tonight
Though I know I might
Well have future regrets
That I didn't more often take up these chances
For what is life for
But to shag, drink and dance
And teenager me would be screaming his pants off
Begging me to stay

But my girl has my heart
In a house half a planet away
And I'd rather murder
Than hurt her
So sorry, though it feels so right
I'm gonna take lonely tonight

Odysseus wasn't strong enough
To endure the Siren song
So he made the sailors tie him to a mast
And Jesus spent forty days and forty nights
He stood his ground and fought his fight
The Devil tried, but couldn't break his fast

If this is true
The Devil should have offered him you

God damn it

I'll take lonely tonight
In my three point five star boutique hotel
Where I will spend 25 bucks
On mini bar snacks and pass out on my phone
And wake in 4 hours or so
Soaked in relief to find I am alone
With only the wrappers of Pringles and Snickers
For which to atone
Blissfully lonely

I'll take lonely tonight