Bargain Music: Hell No

I was driving east from reno
Know that I was denver bound
So I stopped off in selena
Wanted to take a look around
I had zachary sitting next to me in the driver seat
Said damn this world is beat
Pull off here
He said no man this place here looks sketchy
This place was cool it was called cheetahs
They had bushnells they had brauts
Served me nachos with velveeta
How can I tell you man I was shocked
Give a little stretch and turned to survey around the room
Hey bartender how about round three haha
This ones on me
I had to adjust my eyes in the dim light
And I turned to my surprise this straight redneck looking girl said
Hey man do you mind if I sit here
Well I said hell no take off a load
She had blue jeans cut so damn low
Zach said hey she's yours josho
I said darling how long have you lived here
Ah shucks
When I looked across the bar
Seen fellas not feeling so right
Figured she probably slept with most guys in this dive
That don't matter it's just one night
Then I said whoa when she asked me to dance
And she smiled so devishly
I only said yes cause the jukebox was playing Hank Green
We were moving for a little bit
The next song was sung by travis tritt
And I said shit man alright that's it
It's time for another drink
What do you think darling
Sure
Alright
Serve em up son
Well the night was getting spendy
Already 75 dollars deep
She said excuse me baby I gotta go to the restroom
I'll meet you back at the bar
And I thought well shit man I gotta go to
But I didn't know she wasn't a lady
I didn't know she was a man
I didn't know until she was standing just like I was in the can
But I should have known
Hey dog
Ya beto
Lets roll