Bloops: The Honesty Song

I'm glad I'm not retarded
That would be really bad
I'm glad I don't have autism
That would be really sad
I'm glad my brain functions normally
I'm glad I'm an average student
I'm glad I don't drool all over myself
I'm glad I'm not really stupid

Hey! At least I'm being honest
Being gay is okay, but it's kind of disgusting, too
Hey! At least I'm being honest
I'm not attracted to black girls
and Mexicans scare me, too

What if I meet a midget?
Do I call him a little person or a dwarf?
What if I meet a Klingon like Commander Whorf?
I'm glad I don't have cancer
Cause those people freak me out
If an Indian calls should I answer
with, "How are you?" Or just
"How"

Hey! At least I'm being honest
Being gay is okay, but it's kind of disgusting, too
Hey! At least I'm being honest
I'm not attracted to black girls
and Mexicans scare me, too

SPOKEN: Man, I saw this guy in a wheelchair on the street today, and I wanted to cross to the other side of the street, but you know, I was afraid that he'd think that I was showing off my legs, so, you know, I didn't know what to do so, after I thought about it for a second, I did what any red-white-and-blue-blooded American would do. I turned around and I ran the other way. I ran the other way...

Hey! At least I'm being honest
Being gay is okay, but it's kind of disgusting, too
Hey! At least I'm being honest
I'm not attracted to black girls
and Mexicans scare me, too

Hey! At least I'm being honest
Being gay is okay, but it's really disgusting, dude
Hey! At least I'm being honest
I'm not attracted to black girls
and Latinas are kind of cute

Honesty is a virtue