Candypants: Nerdy Boys

He goes 40 on the freeway
He plans his day 'round eBay
He'd rather watch Discovery Channel than an instant replay
Steve Jobs is his swami
He folds like origami
I want to bite his pencil neck and make him cry for mommy

Just four little eyes and I'm weak in the knees
I want to live his junior high fantasies
Just one giant brain and I'm his unopened toy
I'm just a sucker for a nerdy boy

He thinks DNA is pretty
CGI makes him giddy
He'll only listen to the mono version of Surf City
He smells like Hai Karate
Says Mulder wasn't dotty
I want to rip the clothes right off his ectomorphic body

Just four little eyes and I'm weak in the knees
I want to live his junior high fantasies
Just one giant brain and I'm his unopened toy
I'm just a sucker for a nerdy boy

His high water pants
The way he can't dance
If he wants romance
I say beam me up

You're suave and attaching,
Your socks are always matching
If you want me, better hope myopia is catching
'Cause I don't want an athlete
I tingle for a mathlete
He can count on me to give his head the loving that it needs

Just four little eyes and I'm weak in the knees
I want to live his junior high fantasies
Just one giant brain I'm his collectable toy
I am a sucker for a nerdy boy
For a nerdy boy
I want a nerdy boy
A dirty nerdy boy

(spoken)
Why don't you take off those tighty-whities?
No, I don't think your butt looks pasty.
It reminds me of the sands of Tattooine
These sheets are very unusual -- is any part of you bionic?
Ooh!
Oh!
(pant)
(pant)
(pant)
(pant)
(cough)
(cough)
I think I need to borrow your inhaler!