Clifford T. Ward - All Modern Conveniences

Old fashioned she might be

Dated like last year's pop-song

Ageing like this year's calendar

It's a wonder she can still raise a smile.

But in spite of her pension

Governments and Ascension Day

She can.

Her local vicar serves her "pie in the sky"

While her M. P. talks about the policy for European entry

In jargon she does not understand

She's not interested

She makes do, she says she's happy

Talking of her late husband

Who looks down from the mantlepiece

She says she's happy

Says she's happy

Says she's happy

Oh she says she's happy.

INSTRUMENTAL

She likes her television

'Crossroads', 'Coronation Street'

And Robin Day's bow tie

She likes the quiz shows

Where people win a lot of money

And that makes sense to her

She likes to listen to the radio

Music, Clifford T., She says he's nice

He's flattered.

Birth, marriage, death

She needs the local newspaper

Derek writes what she likes to read

But they're knocking down her house now

To build some more

Knocking down her house now

To build some more.

She can read about it on the front page

Or buy the same plot with new bricks

For ten thousand pounds

Central heating, separate dining room

Detached garage

All modern conveniences.