ICP: Dating game

Let's meet contestant number oneHe's a skitsofrantic, serial killer clownWho says, woman love his sexy smileLet's find out if his charm will work on SharonSharon, what's your question?Contestant number one,I believe first impressions last foreverSo let's say you were to come over to my parent's houseAnd have dinner with me and my familyTell me what you would do to makeThat first impression really stickLet's see, uh, well, I'd have to think about itI might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt itI'd probably just show up naked like I always doAnd look your momma in the eye and tell her, FUCK YOU!!!Hurry up bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghettiI'd pinch her limpy ass and tell her, Get the food ready!Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissedI'd have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your motherI pull a forty out and pour some for your little brotherI'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you thisYou know for only 13, she got some big titsAfter that, your dad will try to jump againAnd only this time, I'd put the forty to his chinAfter you mom does the dishes and the silverwareI'd dry-fuck her till I nut in my underwearNow, let's me contestant number twoHe's a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freakWho works for the Dark CarnivalHe says women call him stretch nutsSharon, let's hear your questionI like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotionsA man who expresses himself in his own special wayNumber two, if you fell in love with meExactly how would you let me know?First thing, I could never love youYou sound like a richie-bitch, yo, FUCK YOU!!!But if I did, I'd probably show you that I careBy taking all these other motherfuckers outta hereI'd go through your phone book and whack em allAnd find contestant number one and break his fucking jaw(what?!)Anyone who looked at you, would have to payI'd be blowing fucking nuggets off all dayI'd grab your titties and stretch em down past your waistLet em go, and watch em both spring up in your faceI'd sing love songs to you, the best I canGet you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!When we go to the beach and walk through the sandI throw a little in your face and say, I'm just playinAs you spit it all out, I'd rub your backAnd grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!Well it sounds like contestant number twoIs just over-flowing with sensativity, SharonIt's a tough choice so farSharon, let's have your last question andSee which one is going to win the rights to your nedenOkay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me atthesame time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and whatwouldyour pick up line be? Well, whoever's the smoothest wins!Okay, first I'd slide up to the barAnd tell you that I can't believe how fucking fat you areI'd tell that I like the way you make your titties shakeAnd if you lost a little weight, you'd look like Rikki Lake!Fuck that, you'd be jacking me quickI'd order you a drink and stir it with my dickAnd then to get your attention in the crowded placeI'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your faceYeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that'll get herTell her that's she fat, yeah, that'll work even betterLook, fuck you, I got a strong rapShit, you don't want contestant number twoHe's mad-wackI walk into a barn and there he wasStanding up on a bucket, eww, trying to fuck itIt was a big fucking smelly, ass farm llamaDamn dawg! how you gonna diss your momma?!