Luxuria: I've Been Expecting You

A massive moon
a jumped-up ape
I kiss the earth and choke
and make it to Gatwick
with a drill
and ten red roses
I slip and fall
a banana skin
break out my heart
only waving
this night's fine
and all is fair
in love
and the war within me raging
you kill me off in theory
then you pardon me for breathing
the sweet smell of the street
it was so forgiving

I threw everything at you
my misery, my joy and truth
my haemorrhaging time
you probably don't remember me
et in Arcadia ego
my feelings did so very much for you

I threw nearly everything at you
my misery, my joy and truth
my haemorrhaging time
and my piecemeal grief
and all I was in other eyes
I described it as I did
I tried to find the words to buy you
cut through to your pretty bones like kindness

you didn't love me with a vengeance
It was always coming true
am I lucky to be alive, my friend?
I've been expecting you

You probably don't remember me
the bad old days and so on
back when there was something wrong with love
little room, jumped-up ape
I kiss the floor and joke
"You're not the only child round here"
in seaweed paint I dance for you
round the ruins, round the view
the Helen & Menelaus Snack Bar
then you killed me off in theory
et in Arcadia ego
my feelings did so very much for you

The pain is so extraordinary
this pain in all its story tells me
pain's the best all purpose preservative
you were one of my better creations
everything's permitted I hereby swear
I cannot change this is how I see it
in these words not other words
nor at other times nor otherwise
nor otherwise nor otherwise

You didn't love me with a vengeance
it was always coming true
am I lucky to be alive, my friend?
I've been expecting you