We're About 9: Nobody Flying

I'm sorry to disturb you, Mister - he said -
But there's nobody flying this plane,
And I have flown this airline before.
There's usually somebody in the front seat
Who is in charge of my well-being.
There's nobody up there today,
Could you please check it out with me?
I'm sorry to disturb you, Mister,
There's nobody flying this plane.

I knew I shouldn't have taken that pillow,
I knew I shouldn't have fallen asleep.
It's always when I'm groggy and impaired
That there's some kind of an emergency
Where the world needs me
To be in charge of their well-being.
No, I don't know how to fly this thing,
But I'm usually a quick study
If you catch me after a shower and some caffeine

Are your, tray tables in their upright positions?
Are your seats and tray tables in their upright positions?
Are your seats and tray tables in their upright positions?
There's nobody flying this plane.

I really should have studied more in college,
I always knew I should have taken
More No-Doz, less whiskey,
That evening course on aviation.
But I have seen a button like this one,
In a movie where everyone lives in the end.
Oooh -
The hero pushes it, and pulls back the throttle
And leans into the steering wheel, ever so gently.
I have seen, a button like this one
In a movie where everyone lives.

Are your, tray tables in their upright positions?
Are your seats and tray tables in their upright positions?
Are your seats and tray tables in their upright positions?
There's nobody flying this plane.

When the pilot comes back from the bathroom,
I figure it out right away.
I knew I shouldn't have taken that pillow,
I knew I shouldn't have fallen asleep.
When the world seems to need me
To be in charge of their well-being,
There's usually something fishy
Like a ten year old, trying to trick me,
You gotta be ready either way,
You can't let yourself fall asleep on the plane!

Are your, tray tables in their upright positions?
Are your seats and tray tables in their upright positions?
Are your seats and tray tables in their upright positions?
Some idiot messed with the stuff in this cockpit,
He hit the one button you're never supposed to hit,
We're heading down fast, and there's no way to stop it,
The controls aren't responding,
There's nobody flying this plane...