98 Mute - Painkiller

Insecurity- this time it's got the best of me. Apathy- this time I think it's killing me. Try to scream- but I can't make any noise. Try to breathe- but the breath has lost my voice. There has got to be a better way. Some way to get rid of this fucking pain. Is my future in a razor blade? Sometimes suicide isn't so insane. Bad memories- so I drink to forget. But you see- all I lose is self respect. No control- no more goals and no more aim. Blackened soul- everyday it feels the same. Can't face the boredom that everyday brings. I'm feeling guilty for an uncommitted crime. Left dangling from a puppeteer's strings. My body's free but my mind is doing time. Suicide- everyday a soul is lost. Justified- I think I'll carry my own cross. Bedside note- sory mother if you cry. But life's a joke- so I think today, I'll just lay down and die.