Adam Kay: Natural State

A couple of weeks ago now
The kids had a big surprise.
They turned on the cartoon network
And couldn't believe their eyes.
The animals on the cartoons
Have left the screens and escaped
They wandered the streets and they had
Adopted their natural states.
Wasn't it grand?
Wasn't it great?
When the cartoons
All went to assume
Their natural state
Mickey Mouse felt his vertebrae snap
With his head caught in a trap,
Eating the cheese
And full of disease
In his natural state.
The day they just all discarded
Their anthropomorphic ways.
They burst out the TV sets and
They changed the way they behaved.
Ermintrude the Cow was sorry
When back in her natural state,
Cos Damien Hurst had sliced her
And put her up in the Tate.
Their natural state,
Their natural state.
Don't be upset
But most of them met
A grizzly fate.
Bugs Bunny spent his very last day
In laboratoire Garnier
Feeling a bit cross
Testing out lip gloss
In his natural state.
His natural state.
And Earthworm Jim
Found himself in
A fisherman's bait.
Peter Rabbit and his friends
Got hit by Mercedes Benz
Like Mr Toad
Found dead on the road
In his natural state.
His natural state
Some of our friends
Met quite sticky ends
On restaurant plates.
Daffy Duck met the end to his days
With an aromatic glaze,
Nice crispy skin
And topped with Hoi Sin
In his natural state.
They wound up beaten,
Chopped up and eaten
In their natural state.
Each cartoon critter
Cooked in a fritter;
Each animation
Fried up like bacon
When the cartoons
Went to assume
Their natural state.