Adam Sandler: Dee wee

He said he'd be here at sevenThe clock just hit 7:22It's too cold outsideTo wait for my rideWatching mamma try out a new doo (Bruins)He said he'd be here at sevenBut it just hit 7:35 (already?)Here in Brockton, Mass.,I got my thumb in my assMamma's combing up a big beehive (Celtics)Where the fuck is he?Where the fuck is he?The bitch doesn't even bother callingEven though it's 7:44 (I fell asleep, pally)I'm feeling kinda antsyMamma's getting fancySlicking back a wet pompadour (Red Sox)He said he'd be here at sevenIt's closing in on 8:01 (Trimmin' the 'stache, kid)Me lookin' like a sapIn a wool knit capMamma's next move is a bun (fuckin' Patriots)Where the fuck is he? (My pants are still in the dryer, dude)Where the fuck is he? (I couldn't find my fuckin' snowboots, pal)I wish I had a car (Huge, huge hangover)Oh, no (Massive hailstorm, massive hailstorm, massive)That stupid little punkHe's probably fuckin' drunkI bet he drank a caseWanna pop him in the face right nowMamma's eyebrowWicked goodWicked good (Oh, GOD)Wicked goodWicked good (Fuck yeah)Wicked goodWicked good (Pisser?)Well my friend is still a no-showAnd I'm getting fucking pissed (Why?)Cause I could've gone with CharlieIn the side of his HarleyMamma's on the phone with a stylist (Fuck Charlie!)So I guess I ain't going out tonightCause the digits say 12:09 (Shit-faced)But call the operatorCause one perm laterMamma's hair sure do look fine (Heffenreffer!!!)Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! My stepfather was tellin' me a wicked funny joke!)Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! I forgot it though)I wish I had a carI wish I had a car (A cop pulled me over, buddy)I wish I went with Charlie (5.2 blood level, state record)I could have gone with Charlie (I'm in a wicked mess of trouble, ha ha!)He gotta dee weeHe gotta dee weeHe gotta dee weeHe got a D.W.I. (Up the river [repeat 9x])