Adam Sandler - Dee wee

He said he'd be here at seven The clock just hit 7:22It's too cold outside To wait for my ride Watching mamma try out a new doo (Bruins)He said he'd be here at seven But it just hit 7:35 (already?)Here in Brockton, Mass.,I got my thumb in my ass Mamma's combing up a big beehive (Celtics)Where the fuck is he?Where the fuck is he?The bitch doesn't even bother calling Even though it's 7:44 (I fell asleep, pally)I'm feeling kinda antsy Mamma's getting fancy Slicking back a wet pompadour (Red Sox)He said he'd be here at seven It's closing in on 8:01 (Trimmin' the 'stache, kid)Me lookin' like a sap In a wool knit cap Mamma's next move is a bun (fuckin' Patriots)Where the fuck is he? (My pants are still in the dryer, dude)Where the fuck is he? (I couldn't find my fuckin' snowboots, pal)I wish I had a car (Huge, huge hangover)Oh, no (Massive hailstorm, massive hailstorm, massive)That stupid little punk He's probably fuckin' drunk I bet he drank a case Wanna pop him in the face right now Mamma's eyebrow Wicked good Wicked good (Oh, GOD)Wicked good Wicked good (Fuck yeah)Wicked good Wicked good (Pisser?)Well my friend is still a no-show And I'm getting fucking pissed (Why?)Cause I could've gone with Charlie In the side of his Harley Mamma's on the phone with a stylist (Fuck Charlie!)So I guess I ain't going out tonight Cause the digits say 12:09 (Shit-faced)But call the operator Cause one perm later Mamma's hair sure do look fine (Heffenreffer!!!)Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! My stepfather was tellin' me a wicked funny joke!)Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! I forgot it though)I wish I had a car I wish I had a car (A cop pulled me over, buddy)I wish I went with Charlie (5.2 blood level, state record)I could have gone with Charlie (I'm in a wicked mess of trouble, ha ha!)He gotta dee wee He gotta dee wee He gotta dee wee He got a D.W.I. (Up the river [repeat 9x])