Afroman: Drive Better Drunk

[Chorus: 2x]
Don't grab my keys when the party's over
I drive better drunk, than you do sober

[Verse 1]
I don't know what you've been told
I've been drinkin since 12 years old
Started in 1988
Hangin at the liquor store real real late
I drunk a swallow, I drunk a cup
Drunk the bottle, I threw up
Over the years, I learned to pace it
Get kinda tipsy, but not that wasted
I like beer, but I love malt liquor
Cuz malt liquor, get me drunk quicker
Stop on the freeway, take a whiz
Hop in my Cadillac and handle my biz
I drive better drunk than I do sober
Cuz when I'm sober right
I think I can make through the, red light
Go, go, go, I hope I'm not dead right
But when I'm drunk, I know I can't
So I ain't, I drive like a saint
Drinkin is a class I did not flunk
I'm a Colt 45 certified drunk

[Chorus: 2x]

[Verse 2]
I dropped outta school in 9-0
Became the world's greatest wino
I drink at home, I drink at work
Ignore the boss, he just a jerk
I drink 12:00 in the day
Relax my nerve, serve my yay'
When my day go bad, I always drink
Calm down, relax and think
Only days we like to clown
A 24-ounce 'fore the sun go down
On weekends, that's when it's cool
To drink a 40-ounce, and act a fool
Once I get into that zone
I leave that beer and that liquor alone
I can barely walk, I can barely talk
But I can glide that Cadillac like a hawk

[Chorus: 2x]

[Verse 3]
I ran from the cops in the rain
With my church shoes on
I drove from Palmdale, California to Compton
Drunk two 40-ounces, Old English 800, the club ended
All the homies left my in the parkin lot toe' back
Wasn't nobody out there but me and the sheriff department
Fell asleep on the 14
Woke up on the 405
Fell asleep on the 405
Woke up on the 105
Fell asleep on the 105
Woke up in bed
Call that, uh, autopilot
But don't try that at home; I got skills
I am to liquor, what the Crocodile Hunter is to alligators
"These crocs, they're not your ordinary crocs
"You gotta grab them in the mandible"
We can't find no hotels man (you know what I'm sayin)
So we might have to drive
All day, and all night
I got some music
So it's alright

[Repeat 4x]
All day, and all night
I got some music
It's alright

Make you feel good
Rollin through the hood
With your windows down
Checkin out your sounds
Just lend me a light
No stress and strive, baby