Ben Folds Five - Uncle walter

Your Uncle Walter's going on and on Bout everything he's seen and done The voice of 50 years experience Drunk, watching the television You know he's been around the world Last night he flew to Baghdad In his magical armchair Cigarettes and a six pack, he just got back Now the spit's flying everywhere Hey, hey, hey, hey (Your Uncle Walter's going on and on) You're back so late (Where did you go that you were gone so long) how could you leave me here so long With Uncle Walter Your Uncle Walter saw who fired the shots He drove his chair in the cavalcade He's flown from South Africa To countries where They beat themselves on the backs with chains There was a fleet of battleships And 1 reclining chair Headed north on the Arabian sea Now he's back and he'll tell us what He and his oldest boy Blair Are getting rich with their mail order scheme Oh, oh, oh, oh We're glad you're home But how could you leave me here so long With Uncle Walter Your Uncle Walter told me Everything he'd do if he was president Oh what a perfect world This world would be If he were President now And he sees the children Smoking pot He knows that in a moment They'll be shooting up heroin Teardrops in his armchair A 50 minute lecture And tobacco juice rolling down his chin Hey, hey, hey, hey You're back so late How could you leave me here so long With Uncle Walter