Eddie Lawrence: The Old Philosopher

Hiya folks.
Ya say ya lost your job today?
Ya say its 4 A.M. and your kids aintt home from school yet?
Ya say your wife went out for a corned
beef sandwich last weekend - the corned beef sandwich came back but she didnt?
Ya say your furniture is out all over the sidewalk cause ya cant pay the rent and ya got chapped lips and paper cuts and your feets all
swollen up and blistered from pounding the pavement looking for work?
Is that whats troubling ya fellow?

REFRAIN

Well lift your head up high and take a walk in the sun with dignity and stick-to-it-ness and ya show the world, ya show the world where to get off.
Youll never give up, never give up, never give up...that ship!

Hey there friend.
Ya say your radiators never worked all winter and now that its summer they started up again and ya cant turn them off?
Ya say your wife sent your light weight suits to the cleaners and that means youll have to wear your itchy tweeds this morning when they say itll hit 106 and ya gotta meet an important business man in an hour and your bridge just broke and ya pasted it together with bubble gum and ya hope it dont
fall apart while youre doing some fast talking to this man?
And - and your shoelace just busted and ya opened a big cut on your cheek trying to
even out your sideburns and your daughters going out with a convict and your wife just confessed she gave your last sixty dollars as a deposit on an air plane hanger?
Is that whats troubling ya, friend?

REFRAIN

Hey there, cousin. Ya say ya cant pull your car out of the mud and youre in the middle of nowhere and its pouring rain and ya cant get the top back up and your paychecks all blurred and your foot went right through the gas and your girls screaming bloody murder shes scared of the dark and a stroke of lightning splits your motor in half and your suits shrinking up fast and ya start up the windy road on foot and sixty yards barbed wire hits ya right smack in the puss and ya both fall down in the mud and then a wild animal comes over and runs away with your shoes and your car blows up suddenly and your windshield-wiper ends up in your mouth and ya cant move and the muds rising up to your nostrils and youre sinking fast and ya dont hear your girl screaming anymore?
Is that whats on your mind, cousin?

REFRAIN

And now, this is the old philosopher saying, so long, folks.