Final Fantasy - Hey, Dad!

Hey, Dad!
Been floating down the river,
To the place you retired to,
Away from the women who despise you
I've been sad, 'cause all my friends resent me
But I've got a plan for a miracle,
I'll shit it out and put it on the table.

Dear Son,
Should I be a proud one?
I saw what you said on the telly
You made your mother sound so silly
How is my offspring so pretentious
but your art is lazy, trite and schlocky,
I should have signed you up for hockey