Jack White: Archbishop Harold Holmes

Dear friend
If you want to feel better
Don't let the devil make you toss this letter
If you've been crossed up by hoodoo voodoo
The wizard or the lizard
You got family trouble? Man trouble? Woman trouble?
No light through the rubble?
You're looking for a true friend or a true lover
Or if you've been living undercover
I'm coming to your town to break it all down
And help you with all of this
I'm looking to help you find bliss
One day, one way, can't miss

I'm here to tear all the walls down
Doesn't matter if it's a large town or a small town
Just like Joshua and the fabled walls of Jericho
I'm here to tear down the institution

God spoke to me
Said, "Listen to me I anoint you with the power
That'll get 'em all moving!"
You're agitated? You prayed and meditated?
You're concentrated on getting elevated?
By sundown, Monday
You who come will be blessed with the big money blessing
You will be doubted by all the unbelievers
On all the things I'm addressing
But you must tell seven friends
You must first bring seven friends
And don't be selfish and keep this all to yourself
(And don't eat shellfish!)
Hate is trying to take someone else's love for yourself
But I'm here to tell you that love is
Trying to help someone else

I realize that you have tried and tried and are just about ready to give up
But I got good news for you:
God has spoken to my mind and told me to tell you
To get moving in the right direction for a change
I'm gonna put you in the fast lane!

You need to see me right away so I can fix this!
You need to see me right away!
You need to see me right away so I can fix this!
You need to see me right about now!

God of seven
Open up the windows of heaven
And pour out a rich and mighty blessing
Not on his town, or her town, but your town!
Are you ready for the message?
I have a special financial blessing that once I have placed in your hand
Then I want you to begin using this blessing on the very first day that you can

And if you are suffering a strange sickness
And someone is blocking up all of your success
You need to see me right away so I can fix this!

Signed sincerely
Yours in faith, love and peace
Your friend
Archbishop Harold Holmes