Manafest: Where are you ?

I'm staring at your picture dad
Pulling up the past
Trying to learn about this father that I never had
So young, so wrong, and ye gone
It's only, me, mom Virginia & God
Were all alone, and are leader is not home
The crossroads took you or these demons below
I'm feeling the cold, you were not here, not there
When I had my first fight I was so scared
When I had my first kiss I could not share
I was lost and the school they did not care
Why'd you leave me, hanging from the ceiling?
Angels stopped singing and mom's not sleeping
I'm not bitter or mad, I'm just missing a dad
Sitting here thinking, praying wishing you back
These feeling are wack, almost too much to bare
I know your souls alive I just want to know where
Are you
Why did you leave me
Where are you
Were you thinking of me dad
Are you
Do you love me
Where are you
Than where are you if you do
Well I'm all grown up now moved out a P-Town
Married this girl, mom said you'd be so proud
I even slimmed down I'm hanging with a new crowd
If only you're around, you'd see what I can do now
I travel the globe, singing bringing a hope
Through hip hop rocking roll lifting the soul
They say I look like you, your smile & eyes too
I got moms hair thank God I was frightful
I know you can't come back from the past
But the fact that you left and the damage is bad
I don't know if mom fears or if she ever got healed
Or if she blames you and God over the years
You were my dad, and I was your son
If only you new what it was like growing up
When I look at the sky I get this thought in my mind
And wonder what it be like if your still alive
I'm still trying figure out what when on in the house
What voice was talking loud what made you kill yourself?
Was it something I did, I said, as little kid?
Something like a fib that you can't forgive?
My life was so hard lost my only body guard
Slowly God healed the scars let's say you left a mark
I've had the same thoughts that talked to you, Talk to me,
I had to see a shrink but now I'm back on my feet
I battle thoughts with words, using psalms & verbs
A new rebirth no longer Am I insecure
I heard a voice say I'll never leave ye
But I didn't see ye I've forgotten you like amnesia
I believe I'll see you some where in heaven
Where we can talk and I can ask you a question
But for now, I'm a move on be strong
And make sure I'm there for my own son