Ren & Stimpy: Better Than No One

Stimpy: (tap dancing)
Ren: Stimpy what's all that racket about?
Stimpy:I'm tap dancing Ren. Pretty good, huh?
Ren: It just sounds like noise to me. And you look even more stupid then ususal.
Stimpy: Oh pshaw. Tap dancing is fun Ren. Why don't you join me?
Ren: Ohhh nooo! I'm no eediot.
Stimpy: Come on ... No one will ever see you.
Ren: No way!
Stimpy: Just put on these shoes and move your feet...
Ren: Back off man! I can do it. (tap dancing)
Stimpy: Now, don't you feel better?
Ren: Hey! This is fun! You're right Stimpy. I'm sorry I'm all the time so mean to you.
Stimpy: Think nothing of it buddy!
Ren: Pal! (and into the song....)
Stimpy: It's really great - to have a chum.
Who's kind and caring - and lots
of fun
He slaps me around when I
feel blue
Only a pal would do that for you
His name is Ren & when it
comes to a friend
No one is better
Stimpy: Your turn pal
Ren: O.K. Buddddd... (scream)
You eediot, if you're going to tap dance do it on your own two feet.
Stimpy: Whoops.
Ren: He's really fat - but I admit
He's not so dumb - for an eediot
I hate the smell of his litter box
And when he fills with glue my
stay-put socks
He's lost his mind, but when
I'm in a bind
He's better than no one!
Ren: Would you comb my hair?
Stimpy: With glee!
Ren: Would you polish my toes?
Stimpy: For free!
Ren: Would you shave my tongue?
Stimpy: Whoopee!
Ren & Stimpy: You're the friend for me!
Ren: My friend to the end -
which I hope is soon
Has a head full of air - like a
red ballon
Stimpy: A ballon head, wow! -
what a great thing to be.
Your always say the nicest thing to me.
Ren: You're a fool
Stimpy: But I think your cool
No one is better!
Stimpy: Would you tell me a story?
Ren: No way!
Stimpy: Would you pick my nose?
Ren: For pay!
Stimpy: Would you scratch my back?
Ren: No!
Stimpy: Pluck my brows?
Ren: Erghhhh!
Stimpy: Lick my fur?
Ren: Arright Stimpy! That's it!
I've had enough of your stupid questions! The answer is no!
No, I tell you. A thousand times nooooooo!
Stimpy: Oh, just asking!
Ren: We're opposites by nature
Stimpy: He's a dog, and I'm a cat - I think
Ren: But put us both together
Stimpy: And we're a perfect match
I'm glad he's here to tell me
what to do
Ren: Somebody's got to think for you
You may be a dud, but when I need a bud
You're better than no one!
Stimpy: No on is better!
Ren: You're better than...
Stimpy: No one is...
Ren: Better than...
Stimpy: No one...
Ren & Stimpy: No one - is better.