Saul Williams: Black stacey

I used to hump my pillow at night.The type of silent prayer to help myself prepare for the light.Me and my cousin Duce would rank the girls between one and ten and the highest number got to be my pillows pretend.Now I apologize to every high ranker.But you taught me how to dream and so I also thank you.I never had the courage to approach you at school.We joked around a lot and I know you thought I dressed cool.But I was just covering up all the insecurities that came bubbling up.My complexion had me stuck in an emotional rut, 'like the time you Flavor Flaved me and you called me "Yo Chuck, they sayyou're too black, man".I think I'm too black.Mom, do you think I'm too black? I think I'm too black.Black Stacey.They called me Black Stacey.I never got to be myself 'cause tomyself I always was Black Stacey, in polka dotsand paisley, a double goose and bally shoes, you thought it wouldn't phase me.I was Black Stacey.the preachers' son from Haitiwho rhymed a lot and always got the dance steps at the party.I was Black Stacey.you thought it wouldn't phase me, but it did 'cause I was just a kid.I used to use bleaching creme, 'til Madame CJ Walker walked into my dreams. I dreamt of being white andcomplimented by you, but the only shiny black thing that you liked was my shoes.Now, I apologize for bottling upall the little things you said that warped my head and my gut. Even though I always told you not to brag about the fact that your great grandmother was raped by her slave master. Yeah, I becamemilitant too. So it was clear on every level I was blacker than you.I turned you on to Malcolm X andAssata Shakur in my three quarter elephant goose with the fur.I had the high top fadewith the steps on the side.I had the two finger ring, rag top on the ride.I had the sheep skin, namebelt, Lee suit, Kangol, acid wash Vasco, chicken and waffle.Black Stacey.They called me Black Stacey.I never got to be myself 'cause to myself I always was Black Stacey, in polka dotsand paisley, a double goose and bally shoes, you thought it wouldn't phase me. I was Black Stacey. the preachers'son from Haiti whorhymed a lot and always got the dance steps at the party. I was Black Stacey. You thought it wouldn't phase me, but it did 'cause I was just a kid. Now here's a littlemessage for you.All you baller playa's gotsome insecurities too, that you could cover up, bling it up, cash inand ching ching it up, hope noone will bring it up, lock it down and string it up.Or you can share your essence with us, 'cause everything about you couldn't be ruggedand ruff. And even though you tote a glock and you're hot on thestreets, if you dare to share your heart, we'll nod our heart toits beat.And you should do that, if nothing else, to provethat a player like you could keep it honest and true. Don't mean to call your bluff butmothafucka that's what I do.You got platinum chainthen, son, I'm probably talking to you.And you can call your gang, your posse and the rest of your crew.And while you're at it get them addicts and the indigent too. I plan to have a whole armyby the time that I'm through to load their guns with songs they haven't sung.