This Providence - To Kill This

with a lack of self esteem i walked into my teens
and six years later im still frustrated, im still not who i want to be
and now it all comes down to, am i treating you right?
if i could just be all that i can be for her
thats when id be the man i long to be
i hate this cycle its a never-ending story of infinite last chances
i keep telling myself just grow up
but its so easy to say and so much harder to do
i hear it each and every day
its the only thing left to do
its time to kill this
theres no two ways about it
ends today right here right now
its time i learn that its not a matter of
saying the right words or singing the right songs
its so old but its not easy to say good-bye to all this heartache
to just say no
to run away
endure pain
and suffocate every desire that hurts you
my words and actions dont align
my heart is the victim of my mind