Canibus - 100 Bars

Yeah, that's the beat right there
I'm about to black out with 100 bars
On some professional shit
So don't try this at home, yo, yo, yo, yo
My style of rhymin' is ancient like Aztecs an' Mayans
Because I recognize it's all about timin'
Me an' my freestyle alliance practicin' African Voodoo science
In front of 20 foot bonfires
Lookin' skyward, calculatin'
May 5, 2000, the nine planets'll be in alignment
The arrival of the prophet in the cockpit
Of a starship the size of the Hale Bopp comet
With Mercury ion rockets
An' a big ass 'Canibus comin' soon' poster on the side of it
I'm known geographically an' intergalactically
That's why I got extraterrestrials that wanna battle me
They even tried kidnappin' me an' they would've snatched me
If their craft didn't get trapped in the Earth's gravity
Engines started to fail, crashed into a farmer's field
An' that's really what caused 'Roswell'
Undercover operatives workin' for Com 12
Disguised as a nigga, signed with a record deal
Lyrically I'm off scale
So all hail or get tossed towards Hell, whatever y'all feel
Bruisin' niggas, confusin' niggas
Like Chip Fu from the Fu Schnickens
Hit you with nuclear cruiser missiles
Hear the wild wolf growl
Styles stockpiled for miles from the ground to the clouds
Whack niggas wanna be down but it's not allowed
Interrupt the cipher unannounced an' you'll get punched in the mouth
With the southpaw southern fist
I'll bust your shit, swell your lip an' get the bubba shrimp
Back the tougher shit, what a wimp
You giant Goliath, niggas get shot with a rubber sling
I'm an experiment gone bad
My brainwaves on an encephalograph
Show that I'm stark ravin' mad
Your whole scientific staff'll get killed in a nuclear blast
When I throw the formula stashed in my hand
Flammable liquids in the lab explode
An' you get stabbed with all the flyin' glass
Trained to blow up commercial aircrafts
Trained in chemical weapons class
Just to see how long a nigga's breath'll last, I put him in a leather mask
Spray his ass with a can of pepper gas
Then watch him grab his neck an' gag
Watch the nigga choke to death as I laugh
You wanna battle?, is the type of question you should never ask
Nigga, pick a tougher task, see who the fuck'll last
Whoever lose'll get a solderin' iron up the ass
You need to recognize, my hand is quicker than the eye
Quicker than the 5 speed Jamiroquai drives
A lifespan longer than 9 lives, infinite rhymes that can't die
A nigga with a divine mind
I dedicate this to the wise, dedicate it to dames
Dividin' myself into 100 ten times
You can't deny the offerin's an offer
Flows that glow with Aurora's the spark of light
Water fly like a saucer with the torque of a Porsche
Murder a million MCs, then autograph all of their coffins
Been gettin' it on since I been born an' I'm a live long
An' I'm a be gettin' it on till I'm gone
Look at all the stages I been on, all the songs that I spit on
I took an oath to rip everything I get on
A nigga like me should have carpal tunnel syndromes
In the wrist bones from grippin' microphones this long
I'm just a small fish in a big pond
An' gets pissed off whenever I get picked on
Nigga try to flip an' get flipped on
My army march, a million strong
Like the Nation of Islam, with suede timbs on
Extremely hostile
Fully armed troops dressed in frog suits an' night vision goggles
A lyrical lynch mob, shittin' on niggas
Drawn to a hideous form with horns an' a mink on
Duckin' down low like Vietnam fightin' the Vietcong
Screamin', Incoming when I see a bomb
Speak to your leader, surrender your arms
You need about a million more soldiers to even the odds
Plus 800,000 to even consider a war
An' 200,000 more to even look hard
You better drop your flag an' withdraw
My cavalry charge accompanied by a blizzard of wicked metaphors
An' smash y'all
Attach y'all to the back of my horse
An' drag y'all across the motherfuckin' asphalt
9 outta 10 niggas is frauds
You know who you are always talkin' about your bitches an' your cars
Your jewelry an' your girls, it's like we from two different worlds
You motherfuckers really get on my nerves
'Cause I'm beyond them, on some futuristic cyborg shit
I close my eyes when I freestyle, so I could read what picture crossed in
Then raise my arms like a sorcerer an' cast a fireball into the audience
To barbecue your brain organs
You feel like you've been thrown in a microwave oven
I flame broil suckers an' hit 'em with some more shit
The raw shit, call my reinforcements, the Four Horsemen
Take a big piece of chalk an' draw a line across the stage pulpit
I dare a motherfucker to cross it
I'll even call my man, Black Rob at two in the mornin'
Tell him it's important, tell him to call Sting
3 way an' sing a chorus
Break your camcorders so you motherfuckers can't record it
Call the news, I'll kill your reporters
Start a lawsuit, I'll kill your lawyers
Fuck the soft shit an' fuck what y'all think
My album's gold 'cause my album was the bomb, shit
Y'all niggas got your ass beat 'cause you asked for it
Got your picture taken an' put in a tabloid
'Cause you a man an' you like to touch little boys
You fuck 'em in the ass, then you give 'em cash for it
That's some sick shit, homeboy
A hundred years ago, they'd have took you to see Sigmund Freud
You fraudulent, feminine, fragile as a feather is
With an effortless blow, I'll crack your whole skeleton
You think you're better than Canibus, where's the evidence?
You got below average intelligence an' poor penmanship
You need to shut the fuck up 'cause your breath stink
Take fifty cents an' purchase a pack of Peppermints
Battlin' me? You never win
You thought you was the only nigga that could sneak a weapon in?
Nigga, guess again, 'cause after I'm finished wreckin' this shit
I'm a drink a whole bottle of Henney an' go fuck a lesbian