Mononc' Serge - Maman Dion

Hier au soir j'ai fait un rve pouvantable
J'tais une pomme de terre de Saint-Amable
Arrach ma terre natale, dport Montral
Un gros camion me dompe station de tlvision

Les camras tournent
On fait jouer la p'tite toune
Puis le bourreau fait son apparition
Ah non c'est Maman Dion!

La cruche m'pluche
La torche m'corche
Puis dans l'eau bouillante elle me plonge
Quel horrible songe

Je me rveille en sueurs
Je tremble de frayeur
Pour me remettre d'aplomb
Je me trane jusqu'au salon

Transis, j'm'assis
J'appuie sur le piton
Mais l, maldiction
Ah non c'est Maman Dion!

En proie la folie
Je sors de mon logis
Et je me rfugie
Au dpanneur, au dpanneur

J'm'achte un Player's king size
Mais ct d'la caisse
Elle est l qui me guette
la une d'cho-Vedettes

Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you Maman Dion!
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you Maman Dion!
Fuck tes recettes pis fuck tes chaudrons!
Fuck you fuck you Maman Dion!

Maman Dion fait des tartes aux fraises
Elle fait des tartes aux framboises
Elle fait des tartes qui nous enchantent
Elle a mme dj fait une tarte qui chante

M'en vas chez ma mre
A me fait une tourtire
A m'dit "a va tre bon
J'ai pris a Maman Dion"

Non! Non! Non!
Comment fuir Maman Dion?
Une seule solution semble sre:
La fuite dans les drogues dures

Je cours chez mon pusher
J'passe devant l'club de danseurs
Qui c'est que j'vois faire la queue?
Maman Dion s'en va voir des queues

Je droppe deux trois buvards
J'ai des hallucinations
Qui c'est que j'vois dans mes cauchemars?
Encore Maman Dion

Non!

Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you Maman Dion!
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you Maman Dion!
Fuck tes recettes pis fuck tes chaudrons!
Fuck you fuck you Maman Dion!

Si nous n'prenons pas nos prcaudions
Si nous ne faisons pas attendion
Comme Maman Dion, Stphane Dion, Lise Dion et Benot Dion l'gars d'son
Un jour nous serons tous des Dion

Il y aura Yasser Aradion
George W. Dion
Luc Plamondion
Grard Depardion

Lundion, mardion, mercredion
Nous danserons des rigodions
Jeudion, vendredion, samedion
Nous danserons le discodion, nous ferons des manifestadions
O nous scanderons: "Non non non
Non la mondialisadion!
Non la mondialisadion!
Non la mondialisadion!
Mondialisadion mondialisadion mondialisa..."

Fuck you!

Fuck you!
Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you fuck you Maman Dion!

||
==English translation==

Yesterday evening I've had an scary nightmare
I was a potato in Saint-Amable
Removed from my native land, deported to Montreal
A big truck dumps me at the tv station

The cameras are rolling
The musak is playing
Then the executioner appears
Oh no it's mother Dion!

The moron peels me
The fatso skins me
Then in boiling water she plunges me
What an horrible dream

I wake up sweaty
I'm shaking from dread
To regain composure
I crawl to the living room

Frozen, I sit
I press the button
But then, god damn
Oh no it's mother Dion!

Victim of insanity
I get out of my home
And I take refuge
At the convenience store, at the convenience store

I buy a king size Player's
But next to the cashier
She's there watching me
On Echo Vedettes' front page

Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you mother Dion!
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you mother Dion!
Fuck your recipes and fuck your pans!
Fuck you fuck you mother Dion!

Mother Dion cooks strawberry pies
She cooks raspberry pies
She cooks enchanting pies
Shed even made a singing pie [In Quebec, a pie is a pejorative term for a dumb woman]

I'm going to my mother's
She's cooking a meat pie
She's telling me "It's gonna taste good
I took that from mother Dion"

No! No! No!
How could I escape from Mother Dion?
Only one solution seems safe:
Escaping into hard drugs

Running to my pusher
Passing in front of the male stripper club
Who's in line?
Mother Dion is going to see some dicks

I take two or three blotters
I'm hallucinating
Who am I seeing in my nightmares?
Mother Dion again

No!

Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you mother Dion!
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you mother Dion!
Fuck your recipes pis fuck your pans!
Fuck you fuck you mother Dion!

If we don't act with precaudion
If we don't pay attendion
Like mother Dion, Stephane Dion, Lise Dion and Benoit Dion the soundman
One day we will all be Dions

There's gonna be Yasser Aradion
George W. Dion
Luc Plamondion
Gerard Depardion

Mondion, tuesdion, wednesdion
We will dance on rigodions
Thursdion, fridion, saturdion
We will dance discodion, we'll be in protests [not translatable]
Where we will shout: "No No No
No to globalizadion!
No to globalizadion!
No to globalizadion!
Globalizadion globalizadion globaliza..."

Fuck you!

Fuck you!
Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you fuck you mother Dion!